Out Of The Gray
by iJBieberBoy
Summary: Life isn't easy - for anyone. Justin Bieber has to overcome constant struggles, yet even more complications arise, as he starts to accept, who he really is. Blythe Anderson is in a bad place and has to make tough decisions in order to survive. Bieberslash
1. Chapter 1

Blythe's POV:

"How can you be gay? You know what? I don't want you in my house anymore! You've been nothing but a disappointment all your life! I should've done what your father did ages ago, just abandon everything and run away!" My mother yelled at me. She had MDD (major depressive disorder), so I was used to her letting everything out. The doctors said she should never let anything eat her up from the inside and that was an order she had precisely followed all her life. Even though I was used to it, the pain I got from her words all my life scarred me immensely and this time, it was on my 17th birthday, I couldn't take it anymore. So I screamed, yes I screamed with all the power my lungs had to offer. "SHUT UP, FOR ONCE JUST SHUT UP!" Then the tears started flowing not only from her face, but from mine as well. She slapped me, I'll never forget the sound it made or the pain I felt when her hand and nails reached my face. One thing she had never done was hit me and now she had even crossed even that line.

It was that moment that made me pick up the last bit of courage I had in me and leave my so called home, the place I had lived in for so long and where so many of my memories good and bad anchored.

So on that cold evening in February I packed all of my essentials and beloved things into a giant suitcase and called my best friend Silver. I've known her since primary school and she's the only one I truly trust. She was 18 already and had an apartment or actually a penthouse in the city, where she was studying art and design. Fun fact: She was unhealthily rich, which made her like the opposite of me, ok I'm exaggerating but she was really wealthy and although my mum did her best we had to watch what we bought, because our monthly limit was always around the corner.

Phone call:

Silver: "Blythe? Why are you calling me so late?" She sounded half asleep, I had totally forgotten she might already be in bed.

Me: "Hey Silver, I'm sorry for ringing at midnight, but can I stay at your place for the next couple of days? I had a fight with my mum, you know, about me being gay and stuff…" I still had tears in my eyes and my voice sounded very shaky.

Silver: "What? I… what? I thought you had told her already?" She was clearly confused.

Me: "Can I tell you about that later? I just can't stay here anymore. I don't want to spend another second in this hell-hole!"

Silver: "All right Blythe, umm… I'll be over in 30 minutes so you can pack an overnight bag and –" I cut her off.

Me: "It's fine Silver, I've packed all my stuff already."

Silver: "Okay then I'll be on my way in 10. Wait for me upfront."

Me: "Silver?" I asked.

Silver: "Yeah?"

Me: "Thank you –" In that moment I burst into tears.

Silver: "Hey everything's going to be alright and I'll be there soon." Then she hung up, not in a rude way, I knew she just wanted to get here fast.

It didn't take long for her to drive up in her flashy dark-red Mercedes-Benz 4-wheel-drive. So I took my suitcase off the bed and put my backpack on, looking around my room one last time, the posters of popstars I had crushes on, most of them were of Justin Bieber, my books standing in the shelf mostly untouched, my smell and furniture. I took a deep breath and closed my door and went downstairs, where my mum was watching television and sitting on the couch. "Mum, I'm leaving!" I got no reaction from her. She sat there since our argument and wouldn't say a word or even look at me. I stuttered my last words to her. "Goodbye mum, I love you." And walked out the front door. Silver greeted me with a hug, but decided to briefly let go of me since for some reason it had started to rain a couple of minutes ago. We quickly got into the car and warmed up, while she drove out of the suburb and into the city.


	2. Chapter 2

Justin's POV:

I was sitting in the back of a black limousine with Ryan Good, my stylist and motivator. We were being driven back from the Grammys, I was still quite down, after all I hadn't won best newcomer. I mean, who the fuck is Esperanza Spalding?

I didn't want to see anyone at the moment, so my crew decided it was best if only Ryan went with me. They thought he might cheer me up, he was always so loud and happy and entertaining. No one around him could be unhappy for long, except me.

He seemed to sense that I didn't want to talk, so I used the drive home to think about my life, to think about what was going on and who I was. I was gripped by a feeling of loneliness and I was suddenly freezing cold, I felt in need of a hug and someone to be there for me. I plugged in my iPod-headphones and turned the music up to maximum volume, trying to shut out the world around me. Then I felt myself falling asleep.

We were about halfway to the hotel, when Ryan decided to wake me up and break the silence we had kept the whole ride. "You know, it could be worse Justin. You're an amazing singer with millions of fans-" He began a speech to cheer me up but I interrupted him. "Yeah are you sure about that?" I asked. "About what?" – "About the possibility of my situation being worse!" – "Oh come on Justin, don't be a diva! What's so awful about your life?" – "Well number one, I don't have a private life anymore, number two, no one is there for me, I have no friends. I know my team is always backing me up, but at the end of the day you're all getting paid for it and number three, ... look my life is more complicated than you think!"

I didn't continue shouting angrily at him, because I saw Ryan was clearly hurt by what I had said. That brought tears into my eyes and trying to avoid his gaze I looked out of the window onto the lights of the city and the reflections on the ground, caused by the heavy rain outside. "You know, Justin, whatever! You want to be a jerk, be a fucking jerk. We put up with all your self-pity everyday, you chose this life, stop moaning about it!" – "Ryan it's not my life as a popstar that bothers me, I'm actually really happy, it's just… I'm sorry for overreacting."

I had tears in my eyes, I didn't want to make him angry, hell I didn't want to disrespect my crew, I love them and I know they love me, too. "Justin what's bothering you then? What makes you so mad at us?" – "I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at myself! I'm living a lie! I'm so scared! I'm… I'm … gay…"

I broke down, I was sobbing into my hands and cowering as far away from Ryan as I could with my seatbelt on, because I was scared of what his reaction might be. I could hear him talk to me, but I didn't hear his words, then they finally died out. After I had calmed down a bit, I looked up at him and he was staring at me with a neutral expression on his face, he looked like he was deep in thought, but he didn't look angry, I was relieved.

Right then something behind him caught my attention. We were crossing a busy intersection and through the window behind him I saw the front lights of a truck coming towards us through the pouring rain not far away, a big truck, a giant fucking truck and it was getting closer by the second, the truck didn't seem to get any slower and I could hear more and more car horns go off around us. I didn't even have time to scream or react in any way. The truck collided with us, I could see the shattered glass of the window behind Ryan flying towards me, I saw him getting tossed forward and then I noticed that the color was fading away. The next thing I knew, I was sitting in the car seat feeling something wet and warm running down my face. I couldn't make sense of what had just happened, I only noticed that instead of on the car floor my feet were on the road. Slowly the world around me started to fade away. Then suddenly I felt myself falling into an endless pit of darkness.


	3. Chapter 3

Blythe's POV:

"What was that fight about?" Silver asked, we were still on our way to her place. "Oh… well do you remember how I told her, when I was 13, that I was gay?" I answered. – "Yeah?" – "Well it turns out she never properly believed me. She thought it was a 'phase' or maybe she just didn't want to understand me. So I told her again and I explained that it's just a fact and I'm not going to change, even if she wants me to." – "And then what happened?" – "It… umm, let's just say… the conversation got out of hand and she started shouting at me. I shouted back. She slapped me. I packed my stuff and left. She doesn't care anymore. Not. A. Big. Deal." – "Blythe it IS a big deal! You just ran off, because you had a fight with your mum!" She sounded both angry and motherly at the same time. "Plus knowing you and judging by the size of your luggage, you have no intention on ever going back there. Which…" – "…you don't think is a good idea. I get it, but I'm just not going back there." – "So, what? You're going to sleep in my guest bedroom for the rest of your life? You neither have a job nor are you going to university at the moment, honey." – "Well I can figure that out when I'm at your place. I always wanted to be a stylist, this might be my chance for a fresh start in the city?" – "A stylist? I know you love fashion, but being a stylist isn't easy and it sounds like you just want to do it out of desperation." – "Look I'll manage – I always do." I sighed and turned up the radio.

Just shortly afterwards we arrived at the skyscraper she lived in, a friendly concierge opened my door first and then helped Silver out of the car. "Thanks, Jack." She handed him the keys upon which he smiled and drove off into the underground garage. We entered the building through the front entrance and were greeted by the receptionist Bridget. "Ah, Mister Anderson, welcome, I take it you will be staying with Miss van den Bergh?" I nodded and Silver led me to the elevator across the entrance hall. She lived on the top floor of the 20 story building. She helped me carry my bags to the guest room or shall we call it my room, since no one else ever sleeps there and everyone in her family has their own room in her apartment, should they come and visit. She hugged me and gave me a goodnight kiss, before she eagerly jogged off to her own bedroom looking extremely tired. I closed the door and switched on the television, while I unpacked my stuff and put it into place. The wardrobe was quickly filled up and the bathroom quickly stacked with my washing utensils. I put my laptop on the desk in front of the huge glass wall that surrounded her entire apartment. It gave the place great lighting during the day and the city lights at night, were a delicacy of their own. I slipped out of my clothes and got into my bed with only a singlet and my underwear. I watched re-runs of '90210' and 'Gossip Girl' on the telly until I felt extremely sleepy, which was at 4 in the morning. I switched it off with the remote and fell asleep, thinking of opportunities for me to get the job I wanted as soon as possible.


	4. Chapter 4

Justin's POV:

The blackness started to shift and I saw a torch far away, or so I thought. That torchlight became bigger and bigger until it was to big for a torchlight. Now it looked like a floodlight, but it's shape changed and it became a long square. No matter what shape the light actually was it hurt my eyes… a lot. I put my hands up, in front of my eyes in order to shield my face from it.

My eyes darted around looking for other things to see, 'Where Am I' and 'What the fuck is going on', were my first proper thoughts. I saw my body was covered by a blanket and I was lying on a bed. The room was brightly lit, which made it very difficult for my eyes to make out anything else in the room. Then all of a sudden the sound of a voice came and shot into my ears.

I was extremely shocked by the loudness. "Oh my god, LOOK!" It was so loud I started to panic and threw the big heavy piece of cloth, that was covering me off my body. It was then, that I realized I was in fact in a hospital room. I saw two people running towards me, the first small and skinny with shoulder length brown hair and pale skin, the second tall and muscular with razor cut hair and dark skin. It took me a second to realize who they were.

"Mum? … Kenny?" I said with a scratchy voice. I felt a smile creeping on my face instinctively by seeing the two people, whom I loved deeply within my heart, come closer rapidly. "Yes, sweetheart, it's us." My mum immediately took my right hand into hers rubbing it with her thumbs, Kenny came to the other side of my bed and stood there looking very disturbed and weak, unlike anything I was used of him. "Justin, honey, we were so worried about you." – "We'll tell you about everything that happened, once you're feeling better ,okay?" They said very concerned. Pattie had a very blank look on her face and I noticed two more people walk in behind her. "So are you feeling fine?" Kenny asked. "I'm okay, I'm just hungry." I croaked.

A man in a white suit came to me, while a nurse checked the machines that were beside me. "Hello Mr Bieber, I'm the head physician in intensive care, Dr Schwartz. You've had a heavy traumas to your chest and neck. Luckily you won't have any permanent damages. You were in an artificial coma, by waking up your body is showing us that you're on the road to recovery. We will give you a slight sedative to make you go back to sleep and heal better though. We have you on very strong pain medication, so at the moment I can only allow you to drink some water, food will have to wait. How are you feeling at the moment, any pain?" The doctor asked. "Tired and weak, but no pain." I muttered. "Good, very good. I will come see you again in an hour, by then I want you back to sleep, alright?" I nodded at him and he swarmed out of the room again, the nurse right behind him.

"Don't worry, Justin, everything's going to be fine." My mother sobbed unconvincingly, while she helped drink some tap water. "So Justin, you better go to sleep now. We'll be here when you wake up." Kenny said, walking over to my mum. He then made her sit on the couch with his arms around her, she was sobbing heavily and that made tears run down my cheeks, it had always made me sad, when she was unhappy. The sleepiness started to take over and I fell asleep listening to her cry. The following sleep wasn't relaxing at all it was plagued by nightmare's and me reliving the accident over and over again.

I woke up feeling extremely nauseous and vomited all over myself, my two companions looked shocked, but I didn't care and immediately passed out from the exhaustion. The next 3 days felt like months passing by very slowly, as if to mock me. I spent most of the time sleeping uneasily and the few waking moments were accompanied by me either puking or drinking something, due to the extreme nausea or dryness in my throat.

Then I woke up at midnight, the next day was going to be my forth day in hospital, since I first woke up, there was a raging thunderstorm going on outside. I tried to go back to sleep, but after quite a while of just lying in my bed I decided it was pointless. So I pulled down my blanket and tried to get out of bed very slowly, but every movement hurt, though not as much as one might expect. My bare feet touched the cold floor, as soon as I managed to stand up properly I grabbed the infusion stand that I was connected to and rolled it over to the window, I leaned against it and looked out onto the lightning and water tormenting the city. I was guessing that on a normal day you'd be able to see the whole city from here, but right not a black wall blocked everything further than a couple of miles away. I looked back inside and saw Pattie sound asleep lying on the couch, I searched the room with my eyes and saw something of interest my iPhone was lying on a table beside my mum along with an open backpack. I wandered over there very slowly leaning onto the stand, I picked up my phone and turned it on, totally forgetting hospitals don't allow mobiles to be switched on. I had about 40 unread messages and several missed calls, but I didn't care about them at the moment. I clicked on the twitter application and tweeted that my fans shouldn't worry and that I was recovering. I lay back bed and fell back to sleep, I couldn't wait to go home again.


	5. Chapter 5

Blythe's POV:

I woke up by some very unpleasant sunlight shining right into my face. I tried going back to sleep desperately. "Ugh… fuck." I thought several minutes later and gave up.

I got out of bed and made my way into the main room of the loft, its color scheme consisted of several shades of red and white. I walked to the side of the room with a huge flat screen television in front of a huge, beige, L-shaped couch. After switching on the TV and changing channels until I found something that didn't make me mad at first sight, I went into the kitchen consisting of an island with bar chairs around it and a kitchen unit stretching across the entire wall. I found a note on the refrigerator telling me, that Silver had to go to university for the day, also it said she'd left a present for me with Jack, the concierge. "Oh my god. A car?" I thought. I was shocked and excited by the thought of me driving around in my own flashy car, but saddened, that I was leeching off of Silver. I didn't want that, but I knew she would never let down about treating me like a prince. After eating breakfast, which consisted of waffles and milk, I jumped into the shower. Then and there it hit me for the first time that day. I had left my home. I had left my mentally ill mother, most of my belongings, memories and my pets. I jumped out of the shower and left the hot water running. Although I hadn't finished I wrapped a towel around myself and slumped down against the wall and started sobbing heavily, I tried to let it all out, but didn't get much satisfaction from doing so. I could feel the pain, that had come down on me for several years and was aking in my chest, was never going to go away. What felt like hours passed, it might've been a matter of minutes though, I couldn't tell, but at some point I found myself in the kitchen. I had a knife in one hand and it started sliding up and down my other wrist. It didn't feel as dangerous as it should have, the sharp cold blade running across my pale white skin, riddled with little blue veins, I slowly increased the pressure until I saw dark red blood on the metal and running down my arm. I noticed that moment, what exactly I had been doing and threw the blade into the sink, as to cast out the darkness in my soul that had made me do this. I ran back to the bathroom and into the shower. I was scared of myself and what I did, I was scared of what the future might hold and how my mother was going to handle her life, I was scared. Then the hot water slowly washed away the fears, tears, blood and regrets, it felt good. I felt cleansed. After I got out of the shower I put on a bandage, luckily the wound on my arms wasn't much more then a scrape one could get by simply falling down. I styled my hair, put on some dark blue skinny jeans and a black & white plaid shirt with rolled up sleeves. I opened up my laptop and like any desperate teenager, I asked my friend 'Google' for help on finding a job. After an hour of writing down addresses and phone numbers of job offers, I finally rang the first place. "Sorry your too young!", "We want someone with experience." and "The position is not available anymore." were the most common answers I received. I was getting extremely frustrated, so I decided to ring up Gabrielle, my mothers best friend, and tell her what happened last night. During the whole conversation she was pretty angry with me, until she realized that my opinion wouldn't change. "So, you're really not going back, hmm?" – "Positive!" I sighed. – "But what's the real reason you rang, Blythe? You normally don't just call to talk to me." She asked suspiciously. – "Can you just take care of her, please?" – "Blythe, of course I will! We've been there for each other before anyone ever even thought of you coming into existence. Just promise you take care of yourself aswell." – "You know it, Gabrielle. Alright I've got to go now. Goodbye." – "Bye Blythe." I hung up the phone and realized that I had just sweet-talked myself out of a situation that could've gone out of hand rather rapidly. With a smile on my face I decided to ring one last number I had found in the internet.

"Yeah, hello? Christopher Bailey speaking." I was dumbfounded. "THE Christopher Bailey? Head men's fashion designer at Burberry." I thought paralyzed, looking down at the number on the piece of paper.

"Hello? Is there anyone one the line?" – "Uh yes, yes. My name is Blythe Anderson. I'm an aspiring stylist and I'm currently looking for a position in men's fashion." I managed to get out rather well. – "How old are you, kid?" he asked with an odd tone to his voice. – "I'm 17, Sir. But I can assure you my work is as good as any others." I said bluffing, because I had never so much as set foot into the fashion world. "I'm not so sure of that, but I'm willing to give you a chance. I'm quite bored at the moment, actually, and a new face might change that. Do you know where we're located? Can you be here before 3 o'clock?" I was again shocked, this time by his honesty. – "Yes, I know where to go and I can be there by 2, Sir." – "Alright I'll see you then, bring some good ideas and if I don't hate it you're in. Goodbye." He hung up. "Kind of a drama queen." I thought to myself while I put on a black tie and a black suit jacket.

I couldn't understand why someone so important would pick up the phone at Burberry. I pocketed my wallet and phone, checked I had turned everything in the loft off and took the key card Silver had left me. I couldn't wait for the elevator to finally arrive downstairs. "Ground floor." The woman's voice in the elevator said. I sprinted to the main entrance and saw Jack, the concierge sitting in his little office cabin outside. Once he saw me he came towards me with a huge smile on his face. "I'll just be a moment." He said and trotted off to the garage. A couple of minutes later I saw him drive up in a black BMW. I wasn't into cars, but it looked like a damned expensive sports car. I felt my mouth wide open and immediately closed it again. Jack got out and handed me the keys. "Do you know how to drive a stick-shift?" he asked. – "I do, Jack. I learnt it back in Europe." He looked at me quite confused. "That's where I'm from." I added and he nodded at me. I got into the car and saw Jack outside waving and mouthing "Have fun!". I sure as hell was going to have fun in this thing. The seats were so comfortable you wouldn't ever want to get out again. I looked around the interior and saw a built in navigation system, which I immediately used to put in the address of the Burberry Design Studio. But first I decided to test out just how much power this car had and planned in a detour to the freeway. I turned on the power and pressed the engine button. I pushed in the clutch and put the car into first gear. After loosening the handbrake I was on my way to what I assumed was a job interview with a grin on my face.


	6. Chapter 6

Justin's POV:

"You're going home!" Pattie exclaimed as she entered the room. "Wait, so … you're going to break me out of here?" I asked quite confused. "What? No, Justin, why would you think that? The doctor said you could go." – "Oh, right!" I said blushing slightly.

I slowly got out of bed, because I still wasn't really sure if I could walk properly. After all I'd only done my first steps after waking up in the hospital last night.

Before I could even get a proper thought together, my mum had packed all my possessions into a giant suitcase. She gave me a bunch of fresh clothes and I gladly took them. I made my way towards the tiny bathroom and heard Pattie say something like "Why are you doing that? There's nothing I haven't seen before.". I rolled my eyes and quickly closed the door. But let's just say getting changed after you've been ill in a tiny bathroom with limited bodily abilities is not easy. In a brief struggle I managed to slip on some jeans and a t-shirt, I had some trouble figuring out how to do up my shoelaces though.

After I was done we said our goodbyes to the hospital staff and took the elevator to the ground floor. Luckily although it was quite unusual there weren't any paparazzi waiting outside the front entrance or at least none I could see.

I was extremely relieved, when I noticed Kenny waiting beside my Range Rover. He helped me get into the backseat with Pattie, I put my seat belt on and as soon as we were driving I leaned my head on my mums shoulder and fell asleep cuddling up to her. Though I would've never admitted it, simply walking to the car was terribly exhausting.

I woke up feeling a hand pushing the hair off my forehead. "Hey Justin, sweetheart, wake up." Pattie said calmly. She was sitting beside me on our hotel room couch. I smelled pancakes and looking out the window behind me, I saw the light blue sky outside. I noticed a blanket on top of me and gladly snuggled into it. "Justin you've been sleeping since yesterday afternoon, I think you'd better get up." – "I've been what?" I asked shocked by how long I slept. "Yeah, honey, now get up it's time for breakfast." I sighed. "Okay mum, I'll get up."

"Is there anything planned for today?" I asked while I was eating the warm pancakes with some chocolate hail. "No, you can relax today, but I think Scooter has some stuff planned for you later this week. I think he's scheduled a press event, a couple of TV interviews and a photo shoot. I asked him to cancel your rehearsals."

I nodded and continued wolfing down my breakfast. After I was done I went back to the couch and switched on the telly. I continued watching cartoons and morning comedy shows like scrubs till lunch time.

I saw Pattie coming in from the balcony, she had been on the phone and obviously didn't want me to hear her talking. "Did Scooter change his mind? Does he want me to work?" I asked her. "No, no, sweetie, I told you, you need time to recover. But you were right it was Scooter. He has news about Ryan, from the hospital." Her expression darkened and suddenly fear started creeping into my head.


	7. Chapter 7

Justin's POV:

I saw Pattie coming in from the balcony, she had been on the phone and obviously didn't want me to hear her talking. "Did Scooter change his mind? Does he want me to work?" I asked her. "No, no, sweetie, I told you, you need time to recover. But you were right it was Scooter. He has news about Ryan, from the hospital." Her expression darkened and suddenly fear started creeping into my head.

"Is… is he… is he alright?" I stuttered. I'd been avoiding to think about him since I woke up in hospital. Every time he came into my mind I felt sick and wanted to vomit. I'm not sure if it was because of the possibility of him being dead or me blaming myself for the fight we'd had.

"Justin." She said with a familiar tone in her voice and her facial expression matching it. It was the 'Justin I'm sorry and it's going to be okay'-look.

"No, NO! He's DEAD?" I screamed feeling my face getting red and my eyes watering until they couldn't hold it anymore. The tears started flowing out of my eyes tear by tear, drop by drop.

"No, Justin. Love, he's… he's only… God, please Justin come here!" She pulled me close to her and I sobbed onto her shoulder. I felt the warm embrace and it helped me fight the pain and worries in my head.

"Wh-what's with him then?" I asked. "He's not waking up, Justin." I knew it. He was gone. I suddenly felt anger and I pushed myself off her. I felt a sudden surge of energy flow through me and I punched into the wall I was standing beside. But no matter how hard I hit it. I didn't feel better, so I slumped down against the wall and buried my face in my hands.

I felt warm arms around my shoulders and I felt Pattie pull me back into her embrace.

"Shh, Justin. It's gonna be okay." I heard her whisper. I knew it really wasn't going to be alright. Why did this happen to us? I didn't want to face life anymore, but I knew I was going to pull through. On the inside I am a fighter. I knew what she meant. She didn't lie, but the way people express themselves can be misleading sometimes. She meant 'It's gonna be okay.' as in 'Life goes on, there are good and bad moments and this is just another bad moment we have to live through.'

"Ryan would want us to continue." I thought to myself. "Or would he?" Or would he? After all he never had the chance to tell me what he thought. What if he hated me?

I calmed down only a short while after my dramatic outburst of emotions. "Hey mum, can we go visit him?" – "Of course, sweetheart. But not today, you have to rest." I gave her a look, but she didn't change her mind.

So I spent the rest of the day trying to relax and trying to have fun with my mum. I mean she's my mum after all, but it turns out she can gossip on almost everyone on television.


	8. Chapter 8

Blythe's POV:

I was nearly at the studio, when I got a phone call. I ignored it not wanting to risk being caught by the cops or crashing my car. Once I found a car park I made my way to the studio. I checked my mobile and saw I got a call from Marcus. "Marcus? Why the hell would he call me?" I thought. My thumb was hovering over the call back button. "Ugh. Okay, here we go." I pressed dial and listened to the first beep, indicating that the other phone was ringing.

"Hey B." A familiar voice said in a surprised tone. "Hey, umm… you rang." – "Yeah, look I'm sorry about how I reacted and I wanted to talk to you. Like face-to-face." – "I really don't want to talk about it though. I'm so embarrassed about… about everything." – "Hey please, Blythe, it's fine you have nothing to be embarrassed about. Can you meet me today?" – "I've got a job interview right now, I don't know how long it's going to be though." – "You have an interview? Where?" – "Burberry? Shut up. That's huge! I'm so happy for you. Meet me tomorrow then? How about lunch at the 'teatro'?" – "I suppose that's okay. Can you be there at 1pm?" I was now standing at the front entrance. – "Sure. Good luck, B, I know you're gonna nail the interview! We'll talk more tomorrow. Bye-bye." – "Thanks, I sure as hell need it. See you."

I slid the phone in my jacket pocket and opened the door. The inside looked much like the outside. Simple and sterile. Both the room and floor were white, most of the furniture was black and there were neon lights everywhere, giving the place some excellent lighting. It looked like something from a science-fiction movie.

There was a young girl standing behind a counter, she smiled at me, showing perfectly white teeth that matched the surroundings. I gave her my best smile and confidently stepped towards the counter.

"Good afternoon, my name is Blythe Anderson. I'm here for a… well I guess it's a job interview. Mr Bailey simply told me to come here." – "Oh right, he mentioned something like that. Come with me, I'll show you where to find him." She gestured for me to follow her. "I'm Sarah by the way."

I smiled and followed her through a door into a complete change of scenery. The walls in this room were pitch-black, but there were a couple of lit up areas – a 'stage', something that looked like a hair salon and what must have been cabins for dressing rooms. No doubt this was the photo studio.

Sarah continued walking, clearly unimpressed by all this room had to offer. I struggled to keep her pace, but we quickly reached the centre stage. There he was, I immediately recognized the man with mousey hair and dark-gray eyes.

"Mr Bailey, there's someone here to see you." Sarah said just like any assistant or secretary would have. "Oh, I didn't know we'd have another model, I only planned in 10. Never mind, get him into his clothes and then to hair and make-up."

Sarah gave me a surprised look, but I took the initiative. "Sir, my name is Blythe Anderson. I talked to you on the phone a couple of hours ago. You told me to come here. I want to be a stylist." – "Oh okay, my mistake. But now that I think about it, you might fit better into that gray coat I've got." He vaguely pointed behind me. – "I'd be happy to model for you later, but can I first help styling the models?" – "You're very direct. I like that. Go to Martha, she's one of our stylists, she'll show you what to do."

Sarah grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the 'salon' area of the room. She tapped the back of a small lady who was eagerly working on applying make-up on some poor girls face. I gave her a pitiful look and smiled as Martha turned around.

"Are you a model or the new junior stylist? … God they get younger every year." She added the last bit with an almost scared look on her face. "Hello I'm Blythe Anderson. I'm supposed to help styling the models." I replied, astonished by how much professionalism I was showing today. "Alright, well you can leave him here." She waved to Sarah indicating that it was time for her to go again. "So Blythe have you ever worked on a photo spread?" – "No, Miss, I haven't." – "Just call me Martha, everyone here does. You're job is going to be dressing this model." She pointed to the girl she had been torturing with too much make-up before. "Make sure she gets something that matches her looks." And with that she moved on to the next model, leaving me with this one. She was just how you'd expect a model in the fashion world. Tall, boney and with a flawless face. "Great. I'll have to work some real magic to make her interesting." I thought, while walking over to the stand with the female clothing. I picked out a white blouse and black jeans, but I went over to the men's table to get a beige jacket. I also picked out some converse shoes. I gave them to the model and after she had changed, I noticed the clothes looked great, but she did not look nice in them. I told her to open up her hair and brush through it with her hands. "Perfect." I thought. I finished just in time, because Mr Bailey came to get my model just a few seconds later. After the shoot was done he came over to me. "Congratulations! Your model had personality, she had flair!" – "Thank you, Sir." I answered. This lifted a huge weight of my shoulders. "I'll see you again tomorrow. Be here at 8am. We'll talk about your schedule this week and I'll give you the contract so you can work for us."


	9. Chapter 9

Justin's POV:

Scooter came to see me the next day. He was fun to be around most of the time, but he was always the bringer of bad news and odd propositions. Like me dating Selena, yeah, that was his idea.

"So… Justin, I'm really glad you're feeling better." He smiled a little. I just gave him a look, because I could sense the real reason he was here: 'Work'. "Okay, … I have your weekly schedule with me. You wanna go through it?" There it was. Of course he came because he wanted me to work. I was slightly annoyed, but simply nodded. "I planned a press event tonight at 7pm. You're giving a couple of interviews for selected magazines and websites tomorrow and because Pattie cancelled your dance and voice rehearsals… that's gonna be all for the rest of the week. The only thing else I have for you right now is a photo shoot next week, but I'm sure I can tell you more at the weekend." I was baffled. My calendar wasn't full? I had time for myself? Maybe he wasn't so bad after all. "Okay, thanks Scooter. Where's the press conference?" I asked quietly. "We're setting it up in the dining room, here in the hotel." Why was he being so nice? Never mind, I don't really want to know. "We'll be there just before 7pm then. See you later, Scooter." Pattie ended the conversation. "Yeah, bye." He swiftly exited the apartment, leaving a cold gust of wind behind.

I felt my phone vibrate in my shorts' pocket and quickly checked who was calling me. The iPhone display blinked showing 'Selena' was calling. "Hey, Selena." – "Hi Justin, I heard you're feeling better. I came to the hospital once, but… you were asleep." Why did she make it sound so awkward? – "Umm yeah I guess I was asleep most of the time. No one told me you were there though. Someone could've woken me up." – "Oh I guess it was better for you to let you sleep. Anyway do you want to go have dinner tomorrow? After all I am your 'girlfriend'." She laughed. – "Yeah, let's meet. Let's be boyfriend and girlfriend!" – "Justin! Stop with the sarcasm. We're both in this situation and we have to try and handle it the best we can." She had a point. I mean, it wasn't like we hadn't had a conversation like this before. – "I know. I'm sorry. The usual place then?" – "No, let's go somewhere else, unless of course you want to have everything on camera. I'm sure the paparazzi would love it." – "Oh god, no." – "Exactly I'll look for a nice place and text you tomorrow. 'Last minute'- style." – "Alright 'babe', bye!" I burst into laughter. – "Jay! … Whatever, bye." She sounded just a touch annoyed.

After I spent a couple of hours lounging around, Pattie told me to get ready. I quickly got changed and put a comb through my hair. I looked at myself closely in the mirror, I knew it was me, but I looked different. I was pale and looked tired even though I was feeling like it at all. Was the accident still affecting me so much?

Pattie came into the bathroom and smiled at me. "It's time to go." She indicated for me to come with her and I obeyed.

The press conference essentially consisted of me sitting beside Scooter and Pattie for roughly 10 minutes and smiling into the crowd of reporters and photographers, which might sound easy but with all the flashlights it can become quite strenuous. During those ten minutes Scooter read the press statement about my accident from a little note in front of him. After that he signaled for me to go and so Pattie and me left him to answer some of the questions the reporters had in stock for him.

"Hey Mum, can I go out for a bit? Just drive around? Look at the city, you know… I'd like to get some fresh air." We were nearly back at the hotel room, but I knew I needed a change of scenery, just for a bit. - "Justin, I don't think that's such a good idea. You just came back from hospital 2 days ago and I want you safe, with me." She looked very worried. – "Pleeeaaasee?" – "I said no." – "Oh c'mon!" – "Fine whatever, Justin. I'm not in the mood to argue. Don't you dare get into trouble and be back in an hour. I swear if you don't I'll ground you for the rest of your life!" She was clearly mad at me, just another reason to go out for a while. "Thanks, Mum! I love you!"

I immediately started running back to the elevator, just in case she suddenly decided to change her mind. It didn't take long until I got to my Range Rover. I slumped down in the driver's seat and turned up the music. I didn't know where to drive to unfortunately, but I knew I was hungry. I went to the closest place I knew that had decent food. It was an Italian restaurant/takeaway - nothing fancy but what the hell, I'm a teenager. I drove into the parking lot at the back of the restaurant and made my way to the restaurant shortly after until I heard shouting. "You're gonna do what I want you to!" I heard something – someone slamming against the ground behind me. "No, what the fuck is wrong with you?" Then I heard something that sounded awfully like someone getting kicked in the stomach. I heard someone gasp as I snuck my way over to the origin of the sound. I hid behind a car so I could see what was happening but not be seen by anyone. Then I saw what was happening – two boys fighting each other. One was tall and muscley the other a bit smaller and a lot thinner. The smaller boy was on the ground as the other picked him up. "Please, Marcus, just leave me alone." The smaller boys voice didn't sound as loud and demanding as it did before, I could hear the fear in it. Marcus slammed him against the restaurant wall. I heard a scream and noticed the more delicate boy was fighting back now, but not for long. He didn't have a chance. I had to help him.

"Hey – HEY! What the fuck do you think you're doing?" I was now running towards them. – "Stay out of this!" Marcus growled. – "Get the fuck away from him!" I grabbed a stone lying on the ground and smashed it into the taller guys back. "Ah, what the fu-" I smashed my fist into his face just as he turned around. He stumbled back and before he got a chance to recover I kicked him in the groin. He quickly backed away. "You want some more?" I shouted at him. "No, fuck you made your point… This isn't worth it." He ran to a car on the other side of the lot and drove off.

I walked over to the other boy who was lying beside a car facing the ground. He wasn't moving. "Hey – hey, are you okay?" I was kneeling next to him. – "Does it look like I'm okay?" The boy pushed himself up, so he could lean on the car. I sat down beside him. "Should I take you to the hospital?" – "No… No, I'm going to be alright." I gently put my arm around him. "You sure? There's no need to act tough." His head was now resting on my chest and he moved his body closer to mine. I could feel him shivering. "Thank you." He whispered and turned to face me. That was the first time I actually got to see what his face looked like. He had dark brown hair and blue-gray eyes. There was blood dripping from his lip and I instinctively wiped it away. He smiled at me and I took his left hand into mine. Our fingers intertwined instantly. "I guess I'm your knight in shining armor… Sorry, that was a little cheesy, wasn't it?" I grinned at him.


	10. Chapter 10

Blythe's POV:

"Oh my god, Blythe? Blythe? Where are you? Come look at this! I think a zombie just walked into the kitchen!" Silver shouted at me. "Ha-ha, very funny." I muttered as I sat down beside her. I felt like death and according to my best friend I must've looked like it as well.

"When did you come home last night? I was getting worried, because you didn't answer your phone." Clearly she hadn't been 'getting' worried, she had been completely worried. – "I think it was like 2… maybe 3am when I arrived here... My phone died while I was at work yesterday. You know how I am, I hate loading my mobile." I answered. – "Did something happen? Or wait – did you go back to Marcus's?" She suddenly lightened up and became all gossipy. – "Please don't ever mention him again." I sighed. – "Why? Would you finally tell me what happened?" She inquired. – "Okay, whatever. I was at work and you know how I don't get a lunch break? Something about the company not wanting their employees to get fat." She nodded and giggled. "Well I realized I was meeting with Marcus for lunch. I rang up and cancelled, but he insisted that we go out, so… we arranged to have dinner." – "And?" She further questioned. – "So I went there at about 8. He had already been waiting, so I sat down beside him. At first we ordered our food and had small talk, but then he brought up the big elephant in the room." – "You mean that one time you completely misread all the signs and asked him out for Valentine's Day at school?" She loved to torture me, obviously. – "Yeah… that." – "You know, if he contacted you now, you might've not been wrong after all." – "Let me finish!" I interrupted her. "He was really nice about it, but stated he was 100% straight. We chatted some more about what had led me to believe he was into me, but all of a sudden he put his arm around me. You know how I hate it when people come too close to me. He then put his hand on my thigh and told me that he was 'feeling lonely' and wanted me to 'help him with a little problem'. I was fucking disgusted by his behavior and told him he should fuck off. I left the restaurant as quickly as I could. He caught up with me while I was on my way to the car and said he was sorry. Then he grabbed me and told me I had two options because he needed to punish me for what I had done, he would either fuck me or beat me up." Silver's mouth was hanging wide open. – "Why would he do that?" – "How the hell do I know? I thought he was just going to apologize and that I then wouldn't ever have to see him again. And I… was… so… scared, S. I thought I was going to be raped for sure," Tears now started rolling down my face. "and… and I pushed him off me and ran, but he– he got me. Oh god, I'm sorry for being so emotional, Silver. I didn't get much sleep and –" Silver came and gave me a hug. – "Hey, sweetie it's alright. You don't have to tell me, okay? Don't think about it, if you can. But you know I'm here for you. You can always talk to me." She calmed me down a little and I sat down on the living room couch. She then went to make me a cup of hot chocolate. After I had slurped it down, I felt like I was ready to talk again. I knew I had to get it off my chest. "I… didn't have a chance, S. I fought back, but all the self-defense classes were useless, he was too strong! He beat me up and tossed me around." – "Oh my… Are you alright?" She then tried to inspect my body for injuries. – "Yeah, yeah I think I'm fine, but I would've been much worse off, if another boy hadn't come along and saved me. I have no idea how he did it – I was lying on the ground, when it happened. But he kicked Marcus' ass and got that motherfucking son of a whore to run to his car and drive off!" – "Wow, he was in the right place at the right time." – "He was really concerned, because I didn't manage to say or do much. I was a terrified, beaten-up mess. And… and then he comforted me. He held me and it felt great. I felt so secure. He was so nice." – "Aww, really? That's cute." – "Yeah, I suppose. But Silver, he kissed me." – "He - what?" She gasped. – "Yeah and… and then he left. He just excused himself and left." – "Did he give you his number?" – "No, like I said he… just left." – "Wow, holy crap – that's like straight from a movie!" – "Nah, it's… not that big of a deal actually. A-Anyway I gotta get to work. See you later." I left the dazzled Silver and headed out after slipping into a coat and getting my bag.

I still had more than an hour before I had to be at work, so I spent my time driving around in the car, like I had done in the middle of the night. Eventually, I ended up on a small hill just outside of town. It was a popular place for tourists because the whole city was visible from this vantage point. Normally I would have avoided hotspots like this, but on a stormy spring day, like today, there was no man, woman or child to be seen, but me.

Wrapped in my coat, I stepped out of the car and into the rain. I watched as cars, indicated by the yellow and red lights raced along the city streets, people trying to live their life even though the world seemed to have other plans. I saw the illuminated airport at the edge of the city, with what I imagine hundreds of travelers stuck because of the unfortunate weather. My eyes wandered from the poorer neighborhoods with their projects, to the central business district and the huge skyscrapers, to the suburbs and finally to the rich district with it's million dollar mansions.

The highly illuminated city seemed like a fortress against the evils, a glittering mountain in the storm of darkness.


	11. Chapter 11

Justin's POV:

"FUCK… FUUUCK!" I screamed my guts out, as I violently punched into the steering wheel. I was mad, mostly at myself. What had I done? I just kissed some random boy. I KISSED a BOY! I'm Justin Bieber! What if he recognized me? What if someone saw me? What if they saw me kissing a boy? What if there's already a YouTube video about it? My life would be ruined. I know I'm gay… and I love boys, but I also know I love my music and my fans and performing and my crew and being a star, I don't want to give that up just to go out and date someone. I mean it's not even really worth the money and publicity, when I go out with Selena. I felt streams of sweat running down my faces and my hair was soaking wet. My eyes were burning and my face was puffy. My sweater was making me feel even hotter, so I threw it onto the backseat. After I had calmed down a little bit I checked my mobile and saw a shocking amount of missed calls from various people; Mum, Scooter and Kenny were among the people that had called most. Ugh, fuck… They're obviously worried. What the fuck should I do now? I can't be bothered getting into trouble… again. I mean it's not like I'm a saint. Going home now would only mean being grounded for like three weeks. I decided to spend the night in the car, so I climbed around in the back until I managed to fold down the backseats and prop up some pillows against the side of the car. I locked the car doors and turned up the heating to a decent temperature, so I wouldn't freeze during the night. After that I grabbed a blanket from the glove box and made myself comfortable. I took off my cap, jeans, socks and shoes, so that I was merely wearing my low cut v-neck and boxer-briefs. I put my headphones on and started drifting into a restless sleep. I kept dreaming about the kiss, I could still taste him, smell his scent and feel his warmth. Although it wasn't much more than a long peck, it had felt ineffable. I recalled the sound of his voice, the vibrations that it had sent through my ribcage. It was the first time I had come so close to another boy and it was the greatest feeling I had ever had. I wanted more. I wanted him… I… needed him. But why was I always such an ass, when it came to boys? Why had I walked away? I don't even know his name. Suddenly I was awoken by the bass of a new song on my earphones. "Damn, that's loud!" I exclaimed as I took them off. I was now sitting upright in my self-made bed. I looked down at my body and noticed I must have thrown the blanket off me. My t-shirt was soaking with sweat, so I tossed the sticky thing off. My bare chest was now finally able to breath, but because of a cold breeze going through the car my nipples were completely erect. I then realized they weren't the only body part that was standing at attention. I slipped my hands into my waistband and moved them down until my full body was revealed. I looked down at myself, free and just the way I was. I put a hand around my hard member and started slowly pulling the skin up and down. Meanwhile my other hand moved to my ass and I started massaging my sensitive area, I fantasized about the boy I had only so recently met. I rapidly felt my climax approaching. My moans were getting louder and louder, while my right index finger made it's way towards the sensitive tip of my dick. Just a few moments later strings of cum erupted out of my cock and spurted onto my stomach. I sighed and wrapped the sheet around me. My heavy breathing was now steadily decreasing. Who was he? Did he feel something when we kissed? Will I ever see him again? Those were the questions that rummaged in my head while I passed out. I woke up at about 5 am. I felt like crap, I was exhausted. How the hell can you be exhausted after sleeping? I quickly got dressed into my old clothes. After I tidied up the back seat, I climbed into the front and looked at myself in the mirror. Damn. My eyes were bloodshot and there puffed up dark bags under them, my lips were also swollen and had lost their color. I got out a bottle of mineral water from the glove compartment, I always kept one there in the case of an emergency or something. At first I let about half of it flow down my dry throat, but swallowing hurt immensely. I decided to splash some of it on my face and did so after opening the car door. What am I supposed to do now? What's the next step? Should I go looking for him? Should I go back to the hotel and get confronted by Pattie and the crew? My thoughts were interrupted as my phone vibrated in my pocket. It was Selena – great. "H-Hello?" I croaked down the line. – "Justin? Justin, is that you?" – "Yeah, it's m-me." – "Justin are you alright?" – "Of course I'm alright! Anyway w-why did you call?" – "Well, we are supposed to meet today, so I thought I'd tell you where we're going and when we're meeting." – "Oh right." – "What – did you forget our date?" – "No, no, I-I just… I just hate having to do this because of our managers and being under some sort of microscope by… by everyone, our managers, my mum, my crew, the Beliebers and Selenators and not to mention the entire media." – "Justin, haven't we been over this already? There's not much we can do about it. These 'fake' relationships are just part of the way it works in this business." – "Gnngh." – "I'll be sitting in the back at 'The Velvet Lagoon' be there at 8. Don't keep me waiting.' She hung up. What a bitch. 


	12. Chapter 12

Blythe's POV:

"Hey Sarah!" I exclaimed as I walked past the receptionist at Burberry. "Hey Blythe! Wait a second!" I turned around only to find her standing right in front of me. "Umm, what is it? Do you have a message for me or something?" I asked confused. - "Oh no. I just wanted to talk." – "You just wanted to talk? Can we do this some other time? I kind of have to get to a meeting, but I'm sure you know that." – "Yeah, but you have like ten minutes." – "So? I like to be early." – "Can we talk anyway? Please? I like you." She begged. – "You… you like me? Don't you know I'm gay?" – "Oh no, no! That's not what I meant. I guessed you were. I just meant, I like the way you are. You're not like the others, you know." – "Yeah, I'm not 105." We both laughed. – "True, but you know, hardly anyone else ever talks to me. They just ignore me. I'm only a receptionist after all." She sounded quite sad. – "Well, you're only here because you need to pay for college right?" – "See? You even know something about me." – "Okay, enough sucking up and making me feel bad for you. How about we go out later this week?" – "How about this evening? I'm free." – "Sure, why not? But I seriously have to go now, otherwise the meeting will start without me. See you."

I turned around and quickly made my way to the office area of the building. It seemed so huge inside. When I got to the conference room I already saw several employees sitting in black leather seats around the long square ebony table. There was a huge glass façade on one side of the room, the only thing visible from here were the tips of skyscrapers above the opposite building and the atrium.

I sat down beside Martha since she was the only one I really knew. She gave me a warm smile, which boosted my confidence slightly. Soon the room had filled up with other employees, from Human Relations to Accounting, everyone seemed to be here and everyone was extremely fashionable.

Mr Bailey then got up and talked about the coming months and what the company was trying to do. To be honest the business side of it all was very exhausting and terribly boring. The gist of it all was, they had gotten several new contracts with celebrities, because the company was gaining momentum after some very smart choices in their latest collection. It wasn't very fashion forward, but it was safe – and safe is what buyers want during a recession. The meeting ended after he had thanked everyone for their work and welcomed all the new employees, one of them, of course, was me.

I headed back down to the 'Styles & Photo'-Department or put quite simply, where I had spent the last couple of days working. The rest of the day went by pretty quickly – doesn't it always, when you're enjoying yourself? I had just finished off helping out with a video for their new marketing campaign, when Mr Bailey came to me.

"You're handling yourself very well, Blythe. I thought I'd be sending you back out the door after a week." – "Thank you, Sir." – "Oh please, call me Christopher, when we're down here or else I'll really start feeling like an old git." – "Of course, Sir… I mean Christopher." I corrected myself. "Anyway, we have a shoot with some really young celebrities coming up and I thought, because you're so young as well, you'd be perfect to help styling them?" – "You mean, I get to work with celebrities?" I grinned uncontrollably. – "Only if you're up to the task, of course." – "I am! I- Thank you so much! I promise you won't regret it." – "I sure hope so. Now go home, get some rest. All the shoots are done for today."

I took advice, well almost. I still had to go out with Sarah. She greeted me and we made our way outside. "So, Sarah, where do you want to go?" – "How about we head into the city? We could have coffee or something? There isn't anything around here I know." – "Sounds good. My cars in the back." – "You're car? I thought you came on the subway, like me." She asked astonished. – "No, it's quicker this way, too. If you want I'll drive you home, too?" – "You would do that? What a gentleman! Thank you so much. But I don't want to cause any inconvenience for you. We might live in completely opposite directions." – "I am staying at the Majestic. My best friend lives there." – "The Majestic? Is you're friend loaded with cash or what?" – "You might know her. Her name's Silver van den Bergh." – "Shut up! Seriously? She's you're best friend? She's like the shining star of the Upper-East Side!" – "Yup, that's her…" We arrived at my car and after unlocking it, we got in. "Wow, I didn't know you were an Upper-East Sider!" – "I'm not, well not really." – "You're 17 and you drive a BMW!" – "What? Silver kinda gifted it to me." – "I wish I had friends like that." – "Ok, it's not all that easy! You don't know me, so don't judge me." – "What's that supposed to mean?" – "My life hasn't been a piece of cake lately. I have had it rough." – "Do you want to tell me about it?"

And so I told her about what happened to me, how my mother kicked me out, how Silver took me in, how I got the job, but I didn't tell her about the boy, I still wasn't sure if she was that kind of a friend. After I told her about my life, we made our way to Starbucks and got some milkshakes. We spent the about an hour just sitting in there and having small-talk. I drove her to the college and we said our good-bye's. As I got back into my car I realized she hadn't really talked about herself, at all. I'd have to ask her about that next time.

I arrived at Silver's and went up to the apartment. The lounge room lights were on, even though it was way too early for my best friend to be home. There were black suitcases piled on top of each other on the carpet in the hall.

My phone rang, it was a number I'd never seen before. "Hello?" I asked. - "Hello there, Blythe." – "Oh my god, dad? – "I heard what happened and I'm on my way over to America, son."


	13. Chapter 13

Justin's POV:

"Justin! Where the hell have you been? I was worried to death. I nearly called the cops! No one knew where you were! Neither Scooter, nor Kenny, Selena and Christian, nor any of the other crew members. " My mum stormed towards me as I entered the hotel suite. She grabbed me by the arms digging her nails into them, but not enough to hurt me.

"I was out." I muttered looking at the ground. – "You were out – you were…? That's not good enough! You were gone the entire night! You have no clue what so ever how terribly scared I was that something might have happened to you!" She gave me an immensely disappointed look. – "I'm sorry – I… I really am sorry." I couldn't get myself to look up at her again. The facial expression and the emotion behind her words were killing me deep down inside, it was tearing my soul into little pieces. I never wanted this, but I had chosen the 'easy' way out last night, although the easy way didn't turn out to be quite so delightful after all.

After my petty excuse I quickly ducked into my room and locked the door behind me. "Justin? Justin? Open this door! We're not done with this conversation young man!" My mother yelled through the door. I didn't answer. I couldn't. I felt tears running down my cheeks, but that couldn't be – or could it? I had sworn myself never to cry again, back when I was a young boy. Back when my father had left. I had promised myself I'd be strong for myself and for my mother. Was I really that affected by what had happened last night? By what had happened in recent days? Or even the car accident and Ryan falling into a coma, a good friend and companion on all my journeys? Was it the boy, the beautiful boy, whose eyes seemed to look deep into my soul – like he knew who I really was – like we were meant to be? Was it the pressure I was put under to meet societies expectations by dating Selena? My mother's disappointment in me, that I had misused her trust and broken her faith in me? I had royally fucked up last night. My cover had -almost- been blown. Everything I had built up for myself these last few years – other people had built up for me – it was on the brink of collapsing. My cover, my mask, I had so carefully built around myself, had begun to crumble. I gave in to the temptation, but was it just that? I had gotten into a dark, sinister place, how was I ever going to get out of this again?

About half an hour later I heard my Mum knocking on the door. "Honey, are you alright? I'm sorry for blowing up at you like that." Her tone had changed, she was now back to her old self - or so it seemed, maybe it was only an act she had put on and secretly she was still mad. – "Mum, I- I'm fine, okay? But you were right to go off at me like that – I deserved it. I deserved all of it." I answered in between sobs. – "Justin, are you sure you're okay? Did something happen last night?" She sounded very worried. God, I was making her worry again.

I wanted everything to go back to normal – or did I? Normal? What was my normal life worth if it didn't make me happy? – "No, nothing happened, I just lost track of time. Mum, please, I just need a moment alone. We- We'll talk later okay?" I had taken the easy way out again, I was buying myself some time, but in my mind I knew this whole situation was a bomb ready to blow – not just any bomb, but a nuclear bomb and the countdown had been activated by none other than me.

"Okay, cutie, but if you need anything, you know I'm right here. I'm always right here. I'm always going to be there for you, sweetie. I hope you know that."

I got up and climbed onto my bed. Just seconds later my phone buzzed. It was a text from – guess who? – Selena. The last thing I needed.

S: 'Justin, please don't forget our date tonight. I'll be sitting in the back at 'The Velvet Lagoon'. I'm expecting you to be there at 8 o'clock.'

I plugged my iPhone into the room's sound system and turned on some relaxing music. I set my alarm so I had enough time to get ready – enough time in 'Bieber'-terms is 2 hours. It took only a couple minutes for me to fall into a deep dreamless sleep and I was thankful for it. I didn't want to be haunted by images from my past or possible future.

Of course the alarm rang way too soon, but I had enough self-control to roll myself off my bed and walk into the bathroom. I showered in the dark – something I liked to do when I was sleepy. I then continued to get ready and after I was fully clothed – a black 'American Apparel' hoodie, white v-neck t-shirt, blue skinny jeans and basketball shoes: my favourite purple supras. – I was never one for formal wear. I snuck out of my room trying to make the least amount of noise possible. I found my Mum passed out on the sofa with a light blanket around her. I took a small piece of paper and wrote her a note, so she'd know what my plans for tonight were.

It didn't take long to get to the restaurant by car. Selena was waiting for me in a booth at the back – a waiter had greeted me like royalty and guided me to the table.

I sat down opposite her. She had a smug smile on her face. "What?" I asked annoyed by her arrogance already. How was I going to survive the next hour or two?

"I see you're in a good mood today." Her smile widened. "Don't push me." I growled. "Me? Never." She answered in a fake shocked tone. The waiter, who had guided me in, came to take our orders. The next hour was spent in sweet silence while we ate our meals. She, of course, decided to break the peace and quiet. "So how was your meal?" She asked with a kind smile on her face. "As if you cared." I scoffed at her. – "Okay – stop with the attitude. We've been over this a billion times. We HAVE to date for our careers sakes. We're in this together wether you like it or not. Can we at least be friends? Can we respect each other as human beings and be polite to each other? You've been nothing, but an ass ever since we met." She had a sincere look on her face and her words made me think. She might have similar problems to mine, she might hate this as much as me, yet in the end she had more to gain from this. Nevertheless I decided to play along. It might make these dates more bearable. "Okay, you've got a point. I shouldn't be mad at you, I should be mad at our managers. I guess we could also be friends. Also I- I'm sorry I have a LOT on my mind at the moment." I put on a great act. Sure she made some good points, but this was so much more than just a date. It was just a part of a huge spider-web of rules and regulations set up by societies worldwide, that I had been caught in, and I was slowly repelling against it. "Well so do I. Who doesn't?" She answered. – "Like I said – I'm sorry." She took my hand and I flinched. That was a step too far.

"Justin – you… don't like girls, do you?"


	14. Chapter 14

Blythe's POV:

"Silver? Silver!" I ran into the lounge room to tell her the good news. My father was coming to America, to take me with him, give me monetary support, to live with me – I didn't really care, but I knew he still cared about me, I finally knew someone in my family still cared. Even though I had left him, along with my mother all that time ago.

"Silver?" She didn't seem to be there, but why where all the lights on then? Was there someone else here?

"Blythe? I didn't know you were going to be here so soon!" I heard a young male voice from behind me say. I quickly turned around and saw –

"Nathan? Nate? Oh my god! What the fuck? What the hell are you doing here?" He heartily embraced me.

"Well it was supposed to be a surprise! I came back early from my trip through Northern Africa, because, you know, it's not good for a foreigner to be in a revolution." He laughed.

"How can you laugh about that? Silver was worried sick!" I exclaimed. – "And you weren't?" He asked with a sinister look on his face. – "What the heck are you talking about? Of course I was worried." I answered truthfully.

"Relax. I was just kidding, I know everyone was worried about me, how could you not be? I'm awesome." He smugly said.

"Going away for some time certainly didn't help you with your ego…" We both laughed and sat down on the couch.

"How long have you been back in the city, Nate?" – "Well, I actually arrived only a couple of hours ago at the airport and got a cab to take me to the apartment. Silver met me here and let me in, but she had to go back to campus, you know how it is." He explained.

"You must be exhausted." I remarked. – "Actually, it's not that bad and if I manage to stay up for a couple more hours I'll be in the night & day routine again." – "That's true, but don't force yourself to stay up till uncouth hours. Do you want some dinner?" I asked.

"I'm quite hungry, but Silver will be home soon and we wanted to go out for dinner with you." – "With me? I wouldn't want to interrupt a date." – "Come on, you can hardly call it dating anymore, if you've been going out for more then a year. Besides – you're our best friend, I've been your friend since you came here. I really want you to come." – "Okay, fine. It'll be great to do something together again. The old 'gang' up to no good like we used to be." – "Yeah, remember all the times we raided my parents 'secret' liquor compartment. You're such a hilarious drunk!" We both giggled. – "Hey! Sure I had drunken something, but I've never been drunk." – "That's what they all say. You could barely walk and you were grinning like a fool" – "Yeah, well alcohol does bring down most barriers of self-control and you aren't a saint, when you're under the influence either." I sighed.

"What? Didn't you enjoy it?" He asked. – "Sure, I did, but I just don't want that to be why people like or know me. No one but you two really cares about me." I explained.

"But they do, Blythe. You have such low self-esteem! People like you, whenever you came with us you lightened up the mood and everyone enjoyed themselves even more. You just need to let people in."

"Yeah, I- I suppose so." A single tear was running down my cheek, but I turned away so he wouldn't see it. "Anyway I- I think we've got to get ready, Nate." I added. I got up and turned away, but he stopped me and – to my surprise - pulled me into a hug.

"Silver told me what happened with your mother. We're always going to be there for you, okay?" He said it with such sincerity, I wasn't used to him being like this. Maybe he did change and grow up a little on the trip.

"Thank you, Nathan. I really appreciate it." It felt great to know, I at least had my friends to count on. "But we still have to get ready." I laughed, as I pulled away from the hug. – "Yeah, okay. I'll get dressed and wait for you here, while you perform whatever magic you do to look so fashionable, but could you hurry and be ready in an hour?" – "Okay, I seriously don't take that long." I countered. "Whatever…" He laughed, as he disappeared into the hallway.

I decided to take a quick shower, before I got ready. Normally I only showered in the mornings, but I didn't feel pleasant after work. Once I had finished grooming myself and putting on my outfit for the night – a black shirt with some grey trousers and fancy black and white sneakers – I emerged into the lounge room.

"Let's go." I said and Nathan jumped up ready to go. "I told you." He said. – "Told me what, exactly?" I asked. – "I told you, you would take an hour to get ready." He sheepishly grinned. I poked my tongue out at him and went out the front door.

The elevator made a dinging noise just as I wanted to call it. The doors opened and a readily-dressed Silver stood there. "_Et voilà!__" She exclaimed. - "Perfect timing." I said. – "Where are we going, any wishes?" Nate asked. – "How about 'The Velvet Lagoon'?" Silver asked. – "Sounds great. Haven't been there for awhile." Nate agreed. – "Sure, why not? They basically have everything you'd want to eat there." I said._

_Once we were on the ground floor Jack, the concierge, got Silver's car and we all got in. The drive to the restaurant flew by as we sung along to songs like "Hello", "Tonight I'm Lovin' You" and "Turn Around 5, 4, 3, 2, 1" on the radio. It was a great feeling – being around my friends. Being together like that again was a real treat compared to what I had faced during the last week._

At last we arrived at the restaurant, hungry like hellhounds, and were all walked to a booth at the back of the restaurant by a forthcoming Italian waiter, who seemed to know Silver and treated her appropriately, but then again who in this city didn't know her?

The restaurant itself was huge, there was a bar in front of the entry to the kitchen and a small stage for bands to play right beside it. The room consisted of carefully aligned rows of tables and chairs, all seats were taken up by people in their evening attire. It was a very high class restaurant, a place where celebrities and jetsetters went, but also up and comers who wanted to socialize with the right kind of people. There were people of all different ages, ethnicity and character eating together.

Seeing all these people made me uncomfortable, extremely uncomfortable. I hated being in public places, but whenever I was with people, whom I cared for, I tried my best to push those feelings aside and put on an act of casualness, a mask, and most of the time it worked – enough to stop me from being unhappy, at least.

The busboy walked us to some booths at the back of the restaurant, these were closed of tables, if you wanted extra privacy and could pay the price for them.

All of a sudden Silver recognized someone "Selena?" she shouted. I looked into the direction Silver was staring and saw a boy kissing a girl, I supposed her name was Selena. They quickly broke away from the kiss, for which the boy had leaned over the table, almost forcing himself on Selena.

_Justin's POV:_

_She took my hand and I flinched. That was a step too far - too soon. _

"_Justin – you… don't like girls, do you?" She asked._

"_Wha… w- what the hell do you mean?" I blurted out, louder than I had actually wanted to, the last thing I wanted right now was to draw attention to myself in this restaurant._

"_I think, that you're not into girls. Most guys, even if it was only a fake date, would jump at an opportunity to do stuff with one of the most attractive and famous girls in the world. You on the other hand, you're hostile, almost aggressive, if I get too close to you. Either you have a girlfriend you're hiding from the press or –" I cut her off and did the most unexpected thing, I lunged over the table and connected our lips, my instinct for survival had sprung into action. I had to get attention away from me, by drawing attention, like starting a fire to draw the oxygen from a bigger one._

"_Selena?" I heard the voice of a girl from not too far away. I instantly pulled away from the kiss, it was awful she wore lip gloss and let's just leave it at that, I do not want to go into further detail._

_I looked up to see who exactly had called out for Selena. Three figures were coming closer. Two boys and one girl. One of the boys struck my eye, he looked familiar, could it be – no, how?_

_They stopped right in front of us and I knew._

_It was him._

_I couldn't believe it. Of all the people I could've met in this city, I met him. Was I really lucky or cursed? I mean, what were the chances? He was so beautiful, but my career, my music means so much to me. He and his companions were standing right in front of Selena and me. Did he recognize me, apart from me being Justin Bieber? Did he recognize me from the other night, when I stupidly kissed him? If he did, he didn't act upon it, thank god._

"_Justin?" Everyone asked encore and it made me jump a little. Fuck. I was so lost in my thoughts, I had totally forgotten, where I was._

"_Hey, guys." I got up and greeted them absent-mindedly. I hope I haven't made them mad. "Okay. Well I'm Silver, this is Nate, my boyfriend and that is Blythe. I'm a friend of Selena's." Silver, a tall and attractive brunette girl, explained. _

"_It's great to meet you all, I suppose you already know who I am." I joked and they all laughed. I had to get away, gather my thoughts and come back with my public face on. "I-I'm not feeling too well, though so I'm gonna go to the bathroom splash some water on my face or something. I'll be right back." I excused myself from the group and headed to the bathroom, I needed privacy, though. So I headed into the toilet for disabled people and pregnant women, both were very rare at the 'Velvet Lagoon'._

_I closed the door and looked at myself in the mirror. I wanted to cry. I wanted to let it all out, but I knew I couldn't. Not here, not now. I had to pull myself back together, but inside I knew that the boy, Blythe, had started something in me, he had set something off, that was going to change my life, forever._

_I had to find a way to get close to him and find out, if he liked me back._

_And there he was, he'd just come to get me, maybe to see if I was okay. What if it was all going to be easier than I anticipated?_

_He looked at me with his gorgeous blue eyes. I couldn't believe how beautiful he was. I have never felt this way about anyone before. He was taller than me, not by much, but he was taller than I had remembered him, then again last time he was sitting on the ground with his back against a car, bleeding._

_Compared to me, his skin was lighter, but we had the same slim build. His style in clothing was very exquisite, but a lot different to the skater-look I usually enjoyed wearing, his look was more mature, more runway-esque._

_He was perfect._

Blythe's POV:

We quickly approached the couple, guided by Silver, and once we stood in front of them, I realized exactly who they were. What the hell? How come I didn't immediately recognize them? It was Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez on a date.

I couldn't believe Silver knew them or at least Selena and was cocky enough to simply walk up to them – actually if I was quite honest with myself I could believe it, after all it was Silver, the city's starlet, nevertheless she was way playing way out of her league, right? What if she wasn't, what if me being her best friend blinded me from what most of the world got to know about her from the media?

Selena didn't seem surprised at all and quite happy to see Silver, while Justin seemed awestruck, he was pale and staring at – me. What the fuck?

"Silver?" Selena got up and hugged my best friend. "How great to see you again! Who are these handsome gentlemen?" She pointed at me and Nate.

"It's nice to see you, too. This is Nathan, my boyfriend, who came back from Africa today and this –" Silver put her hand on my shoulder. "This is Blythe, my best friend."

I had to interrupt our little introduction, because the way Justin was looking at me bothered me. It was creeping me out. "Are- are you okay, man?" I asked him. He didn't answer.

Everybody in the group turned their attention to him. "Justin?" We all asked encore. He jumped a little. The boy seemed like he had just awoken from a long sleep and was confused by his surroundings.

"Hey, guys." He got up and greeted us, but he still seemed absent. "Okay. Well I'm Silver, this is Nate, my boyfriend and that is Blythe. I'm a friend of Selena's." Silver explained again. If it had been anyone else, I'm pretty sure Justin's behavior would've annoyed them, not Silver, she was always the nicest she could be to everyone.

"It's great to meet you all, I suppose you already know who I am." We all laughed. "I-I'm not feeling too well, though so I'm gonna go to the bathroom splash some water on my face or something. I'll be right back." He excused himself. Now everyone was just standing around awkwardly. "What are you doing here?" Selena broke the silence. "We're celebrating the first time all of us are together, since Nate left for Africa. We were just walking to our booth at the back-" She nodded at our destination. "Oh, do you want to sit with us?" Selena asked. "Yeah, we'd love to." Silver answered for all of us. Although, honestly I didn't want to sit here, Justin was creeping me out and besides we were supposed to just be alone to ourselves tonight, so I could be myself.

The busboy, who had waited quietly a few feet away came forward and helped us to put two tables together, so we'd all have enough room.

"Can one of you check on Justin?" Selena looked at Nate and me, of course the exact second we sat down. Nate didn't seem to want to move away from Silver and I understood that, he'd been away for quite a while.

"Damn." I mumbled. "Okay, I'll go, but if we I'm not back in 10, call the cops." I joked and they all laughed. I wasn't sure if I had actually secretly meant it, the look on Justin's face had seriously scared me.

The bathroom and Justin in it weren't hard to find, once I had the idea to look in the toilet for the disabled. Truth be told walking into a public bathroom, calling out a complete strangers name and not getting an answer is very… awkward. The door was unlocked and he was leaning against the sink, staring at himself in the huge glass mirror. I approached him slowly and once I could see myself in the reflection I started talking to him. "Hey, the others sent me. Selena and Silver, you know. They wanted to know if you're okay." – "Do I look like I'm okay?" He interrupted me. – "You look great, just a little absent, you know." I tried to lighten the mood up. "Anyway I- I'm Blythe, you might not've heard… before." – "Oh, I know who you are." He interrupted me again. What the hell did he mean? Could this get any fucking creepier? "What do you mean?" I asked. – "I don't mean anything by it, just… that I heard who your name before." He mumbled. – "Okay then. Justin, may I ask something?" – "Go ahead." – "What's going on?" – "Whatever do you mean?" He was clearly mocking me. – "Don't fucking bullshit me. Just a second ago you looked at me like I was death himself coming to get you and now you've been in a bathroom for 10 minutes. Since I came in here you haven't acknowledged me once, instead you keep staring at yourself. So I'm gonna ask again, what the fuck is wrong?" – "Why the fuck would I tell you?" He scoffed at me. – "Because I'm only here to help you. I can go again and pretend like it never happened, but I refuse to, because it seems like you have a personal grudge against me, even though we only met half a second ago and I don't take kindly to people judging me."

For the first time he looked away from the mirror, turned his head and stared right into my eyes. Had he been crying? "What if I told you that everything is wrong?" – "Are you sure? Because from what I can tell you're a rich and handsome superstar who's going out with a girl most boys would kill for." I tried to make my words sound as gentle as possible, I didn't want to judge him.

"I don't know you and I'm not sure that I can trust you, Blythe. I'm sorry, I- I just can't tell you what's going on in my life." A tear had now spilt from one of his eyes and was running down his cheek.

"Is it really so bad?" I asked. He nodded. It broke my heart to see him like this, he used to be an idol of mine. What had happened?

"Well I know you don't know me, we just met, but I- I'm here for you, you know, if you ever want to talk or if you need a friend. This city is full of people, but still it can make you feel very lonely." He then did something quite unexpected. He took a deep breath and stepped forward, whilst pulling me into a hug. "Thank you." He whispered into my ear. Normally I wasn't the kind of person, who liked physical contact, but with him it felt different. It felt great, but I knew he didn't like me in that way.

"I could really use a friend in this city, you know. I'm really lonely here." He said as he pulled away. – "How about you come to a party with me on Friday night? Silver invited me and normally they're really boring…" I smiled at him. – "So – what? You're gonna take me to a boring party?" He frowned. – "That's the plan, hopefully it'll be a little more entertaining with you there. Plus I might've forgot to mention that there's an after party at Maisonette." – "I knew there was a twist." He grinned widely.

"We better get back to the others, Selena's probably worried already." I was on my way out, when he grabbed my arm. I spun around and saw Justin was about to cry again.

"Please, don't make me go out there again. I- I can't handle her. My whole life is a fucking lie, Blythe. I am forced to date her. You can just make something up, like you couldn't find me or something." He seemed like he was about to give up and sunk to the floor. "I can't continue like this." He whispered, sweat running down his forehead and dripping from his eyebrows.

I knew exactly what he felt like, how many time had I already been in his position, with no one there to help me. Your family or best friends just seem so out of reach, you don't want to burden them and you don't know if they would even understand, because in their eyes your life is perfect. Normally I wouldn't have gotten so involved, but he reminded me of myself and so I knew exactly what he needed.

I offered him a hand and smiled at him sympathetically. "I know exactly what you're feeling, Justin. I'm not going to go away and I will listen. Like I said I will be there for you, if you let me."

I'm not sure if it was just my imagination, but I could see a change in his deep dark hazelnut brown eyes, like I had just started a fire. "And out there at the table, with all the others I will be there, sitting beside you, okay? You can trust me." He took my hand and tried to smile, it was the most pitiful attempt at a smile I had ever seen and it damn near broke my heart again. I pulled him up and into another hug. He clenched onto me.

"I- I don't know what to say." He stammered into my shirt. – "You don't have to say anything." I gently replied. "But there's some work to do, if you don't want the others to know what just happened, because they'll start asking questions otherwise."

He nodded and unwillingly pulled away. "I'll go tell the others that you'll be out in a minute. Okay?" – "No, please stay. Do you know what to do? I've never had to hide the fact that I've cried before."

I smiled at him. "It's really not that difficult. First you need to wash your face and clean yourself up, you know." I watched as he took off his jumper and went to the sink, there he splashed water in his face. He then dried his face off with a paper towel and blew his nose.

"Good, now you need to get dry somehow, it's best you use that hand dryer beside the sink to dry your hair and your t-shirt." It didn't take long for him to completely dry off, he put on his jumper again and turned around with a bright smile on his face.

"Like nothing ever happened." He declared. – "Alright, let's go." I exclaimed as I opened the door. "Wait, c- can I have your number?" Justin beamed at me. – "Of course, man." I answered and we exchanged our mobile numbers.

We made our way back to the table. "What took you so long?" Selena asked in a very harsh tone. – "Justin was feeling dizzy." I answered as politely as I could. – "Yeah, but I figured it was because I haven't eaten since yesterday." Justin helped me out. – "Well that's great, because I'm fucking starving." Nate desperately stated. Everyone laughed and Justin and I sat down, beside each other.

We had a great dinner overall, everyone enjoyed themselves and I knew I made Justin feel happy, even though Selena, might've made him sad. I still didn't know how a straight guy would say no to an attractive girl like her, but maybe it's not all that easy, even on the other side of the river.


	15. Chapter 15

Justin's POV:

"Yo, Justin. Wake up, you lazy brat! It's ten o'clock, already." Scooter almost shouted, while he was shaking my arm to wake me up.

"Just gimme five more minutes, 'kay?" I pushed him away and pulled the blankets over my head.

He had opened the curtains and turned on the lights in order to wake me up, but I had purposely ignored all of these 'drastic' measures. I didn't want to wake up. Not yet. I was enjoying the feeling of my warm bed and the memories of the past night - the memories of Blythe.

"Okay, I'm gonna count to three and if you're not out of bed by then I swear to you I will –" He was about to start a rant, but I interrupted him.

"Alright. Fine - I'll get up, just calm down!" I jumped out of bed and gave him a nasty look, while I ran to the bathroom. I locked the door and went on to do my morning routine.

"You better be out in 15 minutes! Ten-fifteen! You've got a lot to do today and we don't want to get stressed running from one appointment to another, right?" He was hammering a fist against the door.

"Yeah, fine, whatever, Scooter! Leave me be." I shouted back.

"I mean it!" He said just before I turned on the shower, so I wouldn't have to listen to his nonsense anymore.

I got out of my pajamas and walked to the mirror. I yawned and stretched myself.

"Now where was I?" I asked myself and my thoughts came back to me.

I still couldn't believe I had met the boy again. Blythe.

"Blythe." I let the word flow of my lips. I liked the sound of his name.

I liked a lot him and now that we'd met I actually had a chance with him.

I mentally slapped myself. Justin, how can you be such an idiot? Be real for once. The chance of him being gay or even bi is extremely low and the chance of him liking you, even lower.

The bathroom steamed up so I could barely see my reflection anymore. I glanced at the clock hanging oh so menacingly on the wall. Was it really ten past ten already? Fuck. I jumped into the shower, nearly slipping on the way there. That's what happens, if you leave the shower on without using it, idiot!

Once I was out of the shower I dried my hair and miraculously it did what I wanted,

right away. I ran out of the bathroom with my toothbrush in my mouth and got dressed. I put on some light-blue jeans, supra high-tops and a black v-neck tee.

I quickly put the brush back into the bathroom and rinsed with mouthwash. I grabbed my iPhone off the nightstand and swallowed down the yucky-tasting goo. It brought tears to my eyes and made me cough terribly.

I grabbed a sweater, jumped out of my room and into the lounge only to see Scooter standing beside the open front door with his arms crossed and a mischievous look on his face. He motioned for me to come with him and then he was gone.

I ran after him and got into the lift just seconds before the doors closed automatically. Out of breath I leaned against the wall and slipped into the sweater. I coughed a couple more times and managed to stand on my own once we arrived on the ground floor. We both rushed through the entrance hall of the hotel and jumped into the black Cavalcade, we knew Kenny would be sitting in.

"Next time you better get up, when you're alarm rings." Scooter said without looking at me.

"Oh yeah? Well, I'm just a teenager." I pouted.

"Justin, you chose this life, now take some responsibility for it." He looked at me, slightly disappointed.

"Okay, sorry man. Where are we going?" I asked him apologetically.

"Don't you ever listen? You have a photo-shoot today." He laughed.

"What's so funny?" I asked.

"You know, when we have nothing to do you spend ages in the bathroom perfecting your looks, but every time you need to go to a photo-shoot, well… Stuff like 'before' happens." He smirked.

"Whatever." I stated, all the while staring out the window, putting on some Ray-Ban wayfarer sunglasses.

"Where was mum, why didn't she wake me?" I asked.

"She went to the gym downstairs. She has a private life, you know?" Scooter answered.

I rolled my eyes, but didn't answer because my phone rattled and beeped violently.

Justin: "Hello?"

Blythe: "Hey, Justin. You have a photo-shoot today, right?"

Justin: "Yeah unfortunately, why?"

Blythe: "Well I work at Burberry, you know the place where the photo-shoot is. My boss picked me to style you today!"

Justin: "Wow, I didn't know that! That's amazing."

Blythe: "Are you nearly here?"

Justin: "I think so."

Blythe: "See you soon then! We can talk more once you're here."

Justin: "Okay, I'm glad you'll be there. Bye."

"Who was that?" Scooter asked suspiciously.

"Uh… A friend. I met him the other day and he works at the studio." I answered, feeling pressured.

"Great, another distraction." He snuffed.

"Oh my god, just let me deal with my own shit, will you?" I shut him up.

It didn't take long until we pulled up to the photo studio. I jumped out of the car and waited for Scooter and Kenny. I couldn't wait to see Blythe again.

We entered and were, of course, treated like royalty. The creative director, Christopher Bailey, himself welcomed us and walked us to the photo room.

He introduced me to the staff, including Blythe, who smiled at me heartily. Everyone was dressed in unison with the interior, sterile black and white.

Just shortly thereafter Scooter and Christopher walked away. Kenny excused himself and sat down on a leather couch in a corner of the studio. The staff swarmed out like bees in a hive. Only Blythe was left with me.

"So what do we do now?" I asked him awkwardly. Being alone with him made a smile sneak its way onto my face.

"We go pick out some clothes, you and I can agree upon and then see if they fit you." He answered.

I followed him to a couple of tables with clothes spread over them. Everything was lying there, perfectly put in order, each of the pieces available in three different sizes.

"Go on, dress yourself." Blythe ordered me.

"Isn't that your job?" I smirked.

"Yes it is, but I want you to feel like yourself and that's why I let you choose the clothes. Well… I might need to apply some changes so Mr Bailey doesn't kill me." We both laughed.

I went through the selection of clothes – they were not like my usual clothes, some of them actually looked like my great-grandpa would wear them.

"Uhm… A little help? This stuff looks like… crap… It's ancient." I said to Blythe, frowning slightly.

"Yeah, I know, they're not your style. It's vintage. But are you sure you don't want to pick something yourself?" He asked, gently smiling.

"I'm sure, Blythe. I trust you won't make me look like an idiot. I'll be happy with anything you pick out for me." I put my hand on his shoulder and gave him a reassuring smile. He nodded at me.

I watched him as he picked clothes up and threw some of them back down, furiously changing arrangements and sizes. He put together three outfits quicker than I could have ever imagined and they looked great. Wait? How could they look great, when they had just looked terrible!

"How- how the hell did you do that?" I asked him, clearly confused.

He turned around on his heels smirking at me. "Magic…" He gestured widely with his hands and winked.

We both laughed as I helped him carry the clothes into the dressing room. I had an idea, so I seized the opportunity and started undressing myself before Blythe went out of the room. I had just taken off my t-shirt. To be honest, I was turned on. A lot.

"Uh- I better go. I- I'll see you in a second." Blythe said, clearly uncomfortable. He didn't react the way I had intended. Damn.

"Come on, we're both guys. I'm not ashamed and neither should you be." I smiled at him. I could see him sweating. Maybe I should stop.

"I- I'd really rather go." He was looking down at the ground.

"Are you okay?" I asked and put a hand on his shoulder and in order to get him to look at me I pulled his chin in my direction with my other hand. I looked right into his deep blue eyes. He looked scared. We were so close now. I could feel his short and frequent breaths on my chest. I wanted to make him feel better. I imagined pressing my lips onto his – onto his pink, soft, beautiful lips. I imagined being brave enough. I'd done it before. Just… one… step forward, Justin.

Just then I heard someone's voice from outside the cabin and jumped a little.

"Blythe? Mr Bieber? Where are you, guys?"

Blythe took the opportunity and backed out of the cabin, he didn't look back.

I was left behind, baffled. What had just happened? Oh my fucking god. I felt tears shoot out of my eyes. Why was I even getting my hopes up?

Blythe's POV:

"How- how the hell did you do that?" Justin asked me confused.

I turned around and smirked at him. "Magic…" I gestured around with my hands and winked at him.

We both laughed and carried the clothes, I had picked out, into the dressing room.

Once we got there he started undressing himself, clearly not bothered by my presence.

He took his shirt off and revealed his tanned upper body. He was tanned – in winter.

He- He was perfect. My stomach seemed to boil over, my whole body tensed up.

"Uh- I better go. I- I'll see you in a second." I managed to say, but I couldn't move.

"Come on, we're both guys. I'm not ashamed and neither should you be." He smiled at me. He fucking smiled at me. Every time he looked at me, I felt my heart melt and then once I realized it, it broke.

I thought I've been over this. There was no way he likes me. No way. Not a chance in hell, he even has a girlfriend. I need to get out of here. Clear my head. Calm down.

"I- I'd really rather go. I'll just wait outside." I mumbled. I couldn't look at him anymore, as much as I wanted to. I don't know what I'd do, if I did. I backed away, until my back made contact with the wall.

"Are you okay?" He asked, coming closer and putting his hand on my shoulder. I didn't want to tell him what was wrong. I didn't want to loose another friend, if I told him I was gay. I could feel his touch through my clothes and it was electrifying. He pulled my chin up, so that I had to look at him – at his brown eyes. He didn't know what was wrong. He didn't know how afraid I was. I wasn't allowed to feel this way.

Fuck this. I had to leave.

I was shocked, as I suddenly heard a voice form outside the dressing room, it was Sarah's voice.

"Blythe? Mr Bieber? Where are you guys?"

Justin jumped, letting go of me. I snapped out of my trance and quickly exited the cabin without a word.

I saw Sarah and she waved and smiled at me. I couldn't return the gesture. I nearly broke down, then and there. I went to the table with all the clothing and leaned against it, trying to catch my breath. My heart was racing like I'd just ran a marathon.

"Blythe, you alright?" Sarah asked. I hadn't even noticed that she was standing right beside me now.

"Blythe? Hey, are you okay?" She asked me again.

"Yeah, sure. I'm fine." I managed to say.

"Are you sure? You're really pale, like more than normal."

"If that was a joke, it certainly wasn't funny." I barked.

"What happened?" She asked me, concernedly.

"Nuh-thing." I said, mentally slapping myself. Now she definitely knows something's up.

"I just, I suppose, well… I … I got too excited – working with my first celebrity, you know? It's like a dream come true." I lied.

"Oh, I understand. I'm so jealous, it must be fantastic! Especially Justin Bieber, I mean he's seriously cute." She grinned like an idiot.

"Yeah… he's alright." I shrugged.

"Is he nearly ready? He needs to go to Make-up and Hair." She asked, frowning slightly.

"I- I think so." I mumbled. After breathing in deeply, I got up and faced Sarah.

"Hey, you know, Blythe, we're friends right?" – "Sure, we're friends." I forced a smile onto my face.

"Why aren't being you honest with me then? I mean, clearly there's more going on then you're telling me!" She said inquisitively.

You really wanna know what's wrong? You really wanna know? I think I was about to jump Justin Bieber's bones, when you interrupted. Thank God!

"Trust me, I'm fine. If something was wrong, I'd tell you. I promise." I acted my part pretty well.

"Okay, well get Justin done soon. Chris is getting stressed already." She said, shortly before she turned to walk away.

I went over to the dressing room door and knocked.

Smack. Smack. Smack.

There was a loud noise coming from inside.

I opened the door and saw him standing next to the mirror.

"Hey." I smiled. "You okay?" I asked him, when I saw the dark expression on his face.

"No." He mumbled.

"Look, Justin, I- I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry for being so weird before. I shouldn't have been such a prude." I stared right at him, into his eyes. I was lying, but I had to be convincing.

"Whatever. Fuck off." H barked and crossed his arms.

"Justin, come on, please don't be like that-" I wanted to calm him down.

"Just get the fuck out!" He interrupted me. He turned around and kicked the mirror. It lost its grip on the wall with a loud 'CRACK'.

It was about to fall on Justin, but I grabbed him and pushed him to the ground, underneath me. The mirror broke apart, when it crashed on my back. I couldn't feel a thing. I got up and pulled Justin off the ground, making sure he was okay.

"Don't move."

Justin's POV:

Why was I even getting my hopes up? I made him really uncomfortable before, he's so not gay.

I kicked the small chair in the corner of the cabin. Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

I walked over to the mirror and watched as tears rolled down my cheeks and dripped off my chin onto my chest and rolled down my upper body all the way to my jeans. I looked at the boy in the mirror more closely. I didn't want to be him. He looked so sad.

All of a sudden I was filled with rage. I hated the boy in the mirror. Why did I have to be like that?

I kicked the mirror. Again and again. It made a weird smacking noise. I was determined to bring it down.

I heard a knock on the door.

I kept kicking the mirror.

The door opened and Blythe walked in. "Hey." He said. A smile on his face. I hated his smile, it was so perfect. Fuck him and his perfectness.

"You okay?" He asked me concernedly.

"No." I answered.

"Look, Justin, I- I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry for being so weird before. I shouldn't have been such a prude." He looked right into my eyes. I melted. How could I be mad at him? – I just answered the question myself. Because he had so much power over me. Was it even legal, what he was doing?

"Whatever. Fuck off." I barked, crossing my arms.

"Justin, come on, please don't be like that-" He began.

"Just get the fuck out!" I interrupted him, turning around and kicking the mirror again. This time with much more force.

There was a loud cracking noise as the mirror lost its grip on the wall. It began to fall right on top of me and I was ready for it's impact. I closed my eyes.

I was smacked down on the ground feeling something heavy on me. Oddly it didn't hurt as much as I expected. I opened my eyes and saw Blythe lying on me. He carefully got up. There were slight cuts on his neck and forearms, some of his clothes were ripped.

He pulled me up from the ground and sat me down on the chair.

"Don't move." He said and disappeared into the studio. Shortly after Kenny ran into the cabin, followed by Scooter.

I didn't listen to what they said. I looked at Blythe standing in the doorframe. He gave me a toothless smile, nodded and then walked away.

Like recovering from a flashbang, all the noise came back. Scooter was furiously asking me questions about my wellbeing while Kenny checked me for serious injuries.

I pushed him away and walked past them, out of the cabin. "Blythe?" I called out. "Blythe? Come back! It's okay, I'm not mad! Blythe please come back." I looked around the studio, but he was nowhere to be found. I felt someone grab my arm. I tried to shake it off, but the hand wouldn't budge. I turned around, only to find Scooter looking at me.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He asked me. I felt everyone in the studio staring at me.

"You could've seriously got hurt! What happened back there? What did that other boy do?"

I was at a loss for words. I couldn't tell the truth, could I?

Someone must have informed the boss, because Christopher Bailey came through a door and ran to us.

"What happened?" He asked us.

"That Blythe boy happened. A mirror ended up broken and Justin nearly got seriously injured because of it!" Scooter shouted at him.

"Is that true?" He frowned.

I still didn't know what to say. This situation had gone from bad to worse in a matter of minutes and there was nothing I could do to make it better.

I could feel myself close to tears, but I kept them in, put on my tough face for the crowd that was slowly gathering around us.

"It wasn't his fault. It's all my fault." I mumbled.

"Whatever. Honestly I done give a shit what happened, but you should seriously think about who you hire, idiot! You had a fucking kid working with a superstar. What kind of moron let's that happen? We're leaving. You can stuff that contract up your ass, mate!" Scooter was seriously mad.

"I'm so sorry. I'll get rid of Blythe. You'll never see him again. Please don't leave. Rethink this. We have to get this shoot done, otherwise –" Mr Bailey tried desperately to convince Scooter not to give up on his brand.

Scooter let go of me and turned to Christopher, proceeding to shout him into the ground.

I slipped through the small crowd and headed through a door in the wall. Luckily it was the one I'd came in through. It didn't take long for me to get to the entrance and waiting room. The secretary looked at me strangely.

"Justin? Oh my god, I'm a huge fan! My name's Sarah." She came out from behind her desk and extended her hand to greet me.

I ignored it.

"Do you know Blythe?" I asked.

"Yeah. Of course I do." She scoffed, insulted by my unfriendliness.

"Where the fuck is he?" I said persistently.

"He left, you just missed him." Sarah said, walking back to behind her desk.

"He – what? Why would he leave?" I asked.

"I don't know, he was crying, though. I tried to stop him and to get him to tell me what was wrong, but he just left." Sarah explained.

I turned away and ran out of the door, maybe I could still catch him in the parking lot.

I ran to the side of the building and a huge parking area. How was I ever gonna find him? I heard an engine howl and saw a black bmw skid around a corner accelerating toward the exit. It was his car. I had to be there faster. Luckily, I was a lot closer. I sprinted towards it, jumping over a small fence. I stood in the cars way, my arms extended. I heard tires screeching. It didn't take long for the car to come to a halt right in front of me. I went to the front passenger side, opened the door and got in.

"Drive somewhere quiet." I told Blythe. "Just go."

Blythe obeyed and drove off. The car drive was spent in silence. I thought about what I was going to say to him, once we got wherever he was driving to.

I just had to tell him. There was no was around it.

We were not in the city anymore. We drove up a steep hill and got to a small observation platform. Blythe pulled the handbrake and turned off the engine. We both got out and walked over to the edge of the platform. You could see the whole city from here. It was amazing. This place was perfect. There was a storm brewing in the west, while the sun was shining in the southeast, it's lights broken by a couple of skyscrapers. This place was magnificent.

We both turned towards each other. I prepared for what was about to come. I didn't care, if he accepted me. I just had to tell him what was going on. I owed him that much. I knew it was a huge risk, but it was one I had to take. There wasn't a way around it. Otherwise I'd definitely loose his friendship.

I opened my mouth in order to say something, but he shook his head.

"I want to go first." He said. "Are you cold?"

I was confused. "Uhm… Yeah, I guess. Why?" I was still shirtless and winter still had its grip on this time of the year.

He took of his jacket and gave it to me. I gladly took it and wrapped myself with it. It smelt like him and warmed me instantly.

"Thanks." I smiled.

He took a deep breath and looked straight at me.

"Justin, there's something I haven't told you. I'm sorry. I… I… I'm – gay. That's why I got so uncomfortable in the dressing room, but not because I'm a prude – it was because I'm attracted to you. Now, I can understand if your beliefs stop you from accepting me and being my friend, but it would be really cool if we could simply start over and stay friends." He hadn't stopped looking into my eyes since he began his little speech. He… is… gay! I was awestruck.

All my wishes had come true.

I started laughing, all the while tears shot out of my eyes.

"You're gay. You're gay. You are gay." I repeatedly said.

He frowned and stared at me.

I dropped the coat and stepped towards him. I took his hands into mine and place either of them at my naked upper body's sides. I snaked my arms around his neck and pulled him close to me.

I gradually pushed my face closer to his. There were tears running down his face now, too. I smiled at him and then closed the gap between our lips.

It was perfect. This was so much better then the first time in the parking lot.

His lips felt so great. They were warm, soft and moist. I was slightly sucking them and every time I let go there was a quiet smacking noise.

I opened my mouth slightly and poked my tongue out, licking and then parting his lips gently. He opened his mouth and his tongue came to great me. Only the tips met at first, but soon they embraced each other completely.

I could taste him and I couldn't have imagined his taste better. It topped even his smell.

His arms pulled me close to his body and he was keeping me warm. His hands traced along my back and made small shocks shoot up my spine, giving me goosebumps. With my right hand I was carefully going through his hair, messing it up and pushing him closer to me. My left hand was cupping his cheek and I was stroking it with my thumb.

I was now exploring his mouth with my tongue, testing out every corner and tasting all the different bits.

Suddenly he smiled into the kiss and I noticed the shallow breathing and therefore lack of oxygen was almost making me dizzy, but luckily he was holding me tightly in his arms. We unwillingly pulled apart to properly catch our breaths again.

We were both grinning and panting like idiots.


	16. Chapter 16

Blythe's POV:

It was Friday, the day of the dinner party – an event only for the most privileged and at the same time the most boring people in the city. I was standing outside an old Elizabethan mansion on its graveled driveway. I played around with the sleeves of my black suit. Silver was standing beside me her arm tucked under Nate's. I was getting really nervous. Justin, where are you?

You may be asking yourself "What's he doing there? Why was that average kid invited to the party?" and well to be quite honest I have asked myself those questions many times. But the answer never satisfied me. Luckily people realized quite quickly I wasn't simply Silver's lapdog. She wasn't the reason I was invited, but my father was. He is a businessman back in Europe, one of the "Top Dogs" and even more - a global player. I was never much interested in what he did. The only thing I knew was, when I left for America with my mother, one of the reasons for their divorce was that he quite simply never came home. He'd missed a lot of my childhood and my mum decided one day he didn't deserve our love anymore. Even though I was only 11 my mum let me decide whether I wanted to stay with him or go to America with her. I decided to go with my mum. After all I'd hardly ever had contact with my dad. He didn't fight for me, but he kept his full custody rights - in case of an emergency, they said. I often wondered if my life could have been different, had I stayed back in Europe. I say Europe, because I had spent my early life moving from one mansion to another – Germany, France, Italy. Anywhere my father was needed, really. Even the cities in those countries weren't always the same. The longest I spent in one house must've been about 6 months. Therefore I never had any real friends, only Silver. She had the same fate. Our dads did a lot of business together and because we were roughly the same age, we became good friends and over time best friends. One could even say family. But when I was 10 years old, Silver's family moved to the US. Silver's Dad had decided to settle down and focus on his family. He still had his companies, but he had other people do the grunt work. That was also one of the reasons we moved here, because my mum was used to Hanna, Silver's mum being around. Unfortunately moving here didn't change things for the better. We had to live in a small apartment I had to go to a public school instead of being homeschooled. My life changed and it was scary. It was a huge adjustment, but we survived. My mum got a better job and soon she could afford a house. Life got a little bit better. Yet never on par to what my dad had given us.

Today my father had decided to come to America, to start caring about me, but I wasn't sure. He might just take me back to my mother. I didn't even know how he found out about my mum kicking me out, but I guess he has his connections. Perhaps it was Silver's parents, who told him – I didn't care either way. Why after all this time had he decided to step back into my life? Why did he want me to meet him at the dinner party?

I was nervous, even a little scared, but I was glad Justin would be with me all through the night. He was late – that better not turn into a habit. I decided to text him. "Where are you?" I wrote. More like where THE HELL are you… I sent the text unedited.

Pacing around the driveway, I thought back, about yesterday – the day of the photo shoot. I was so happy, it was one of the greatest days of my life.

I got into my car and immediately turned on the engine. I was ready to go. I had to.

I needed to protect myself from this – from him. I couldn't go through a heartbreak right now. "Heartbreak" – could I even call it that? How could Justin have so much control over me? I've only known him for a single day.

This is not fair. This "job" of mine, well I can't go back. I'm sure as hell fired. Silver wouldn't be able to take me in forever. Maybe she would, but I didn't want to use her anymore.

I put the car in reverse and backed out of the car park. I wanted to get home as fast as possible, simply wait on my dad, go back to Europe, go to university and have a normal, peaceful life. Things are going to be easy again.

I let the clutch slip and hammered down on the gas pedal. The car was accelerating rapidly. I skidded around a corner. The adrenaline rushing through my arteries was extremely satisfying. I didn't even know I was such a great driver.

"Oh FUCK!" I shouted as I saw someone walk right into the cars way.

I slammed down on the brakes and even pulled the handbrake.

The car came to a halt just seconds before slamming into the boy. It was Justin.

He looked at me, walked to the side of the car and opened the passenger door, sitting down without a word.

"Drive somewhere quiet." He said. "Just go."

I had to hold back tears, a single tears bursting from one of my eyes and running down my cheek, seeing him was killing me inside. I quickly wiped it away and turned on the car again. It had died, when I'd stopped for Justin.

I knew where I was going to go. A place that'd always helped me cope with this city, with this country, with all the people in it.

We didn't speak during the entire drive. It actually gave me time to think about what I was going to say to him.

Should I be honest? Tell him – everything? Why would he care?

Then again there was no way my life was going to get any worse. Telling him wouldn't destroy anything except maybe the remains of our friendship, but I don't know if I haven't done that already.

We arrived at the Cliffside I had visited so many times before. This was the first time I ever brought someone with me.

There was another storm coming up. Spring always seemed like the season earth used to cleanse itself.

We got out and walked onto the observation platform. There was no one around. No tourists, no vendors, no one at all. We were alone.

Justin was about to speak, but I interrupted him.

"I want to go first." I had to go first. "Are you cold?" I asked him. I may as well start off being polite.

"Uhm… Yeah, I guess. Why?" You're shirtless and it's freezing. That's why. Instead of answering, I decided to give him my jacket.

"Thanks." He smiled as he wrapped himself in the jacket.

I took a deep breath and looked right into his eyes, his deep dark brown eyes. They were so lovely. I wish I could tell him that. I wish I could tell him, that every time he looked at me, I melted inside.

"Justin, there's something I haven't told you. I'm sorry. I… I… I'm – gay. That's why I got so uncomfortable in the dressing room, but not because I'm a prude – it was because I'm attracted to you. Now, I can understand if your beliefs stop you from accepting me and being my friend, but it would be really cool if we could simply start over and stay friends."

This was one of those moments in life, where you'd love to have a remote and simply fast forward to a happy place and a happier time. I wasn't hoping for much. Maybe that he'd simply shout something vulgar at me, nevertheless I was prepared for him to hit me. I would take the beating. I deserved it for feeling the way I did.

I was completely unprepared for what happened next. He started laughing and crying at the same time.

"You're gay. You're gay. You're gay." He repeatedly shouted.

What's the hell is going on?

He dropped my coat and came closer to me.

He grabbed my hands, placing them at his sides, and pulled me into a tight embrace, wrapping his arms around my neck. Our faces were now in front of each other.

Everything was perfect. I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. There we were - two boys, crying and smiling at each other.

Justin was the first to act and pressed his lips against mine.

Ohmyfuckinggodyes! He is gay, too.

It felt – HE felt amazing. His soft, warm lips were pressing against mine.

Realization hit me. I had felt his lips and smelt him before. Could it be? Was he the one, who kissed me in the car park?

My thoughts were interrupted, by his tongue sliding along and desperately trying to pry open my lips. I couldn't have dreamed of it better. I gave in and let him in. Our tongues met and I could taste him. Oh gosh. It was wonderful.

We explored each other's mouths and the feeling of him and me intertwined was extraordinary. I pulled him close to my body, because I wanted to keep him warm. I traced my hands along his bare back. He was messing up my hair and carefully cupping my right cheek with his warm hand stroking it gently with his thumb.

We were very clumsy, crashing our teeth together occasionally, but I didn't care. My entire body was shaking. How could I get so lucky? I couldn't help myself, I simply smiled into the kiss.

He noticed and we pulled away from the kiss, grinning and panting like maniacs.  
>Oh my fucking god. I couldn't believe what had happened.<p>

I tried to say something, but he stopped me by putting one of his fingers on my lips.  
>"Shh." He whispered and pecked my cheek.<br>"Okay, now you can talk." He chuckled.  
>"Justin, I…" I couldn't make up the words to express my feelings. He seemed to sense it and instead of waiting, he gently placed his lips on mine again.<br>This second kiss was much more loving and sweet. It was a simple gesture full of the right emotions. My stomach felt like a team of elephants was playing football on a trampoline – my stomach being the trampoline.  
>"Let's talk later." He said and I nodded. We pulled away from each other, but he quickly grabbed my hand with his and almost instantly our fingers intertwined. I smiled at him and he winked at me. He grabbed my jacket off the ground and put it on. I guided him towards my car and we got in.<br>"Where to?" I asked, unsure of what to do next.

"I'm hungry." Justin chuckled and I grinned at him.  
>"Do you want to go to my place? We can eat there and I can give you some clothes… Only if you want to of course…" I suggested.<br>"Sounds great." He answered and turned on the radio. A new David Guetta song was playing. "I love this song." He mentioned.

"Yeah, it's nice." I added as Justin started bopping his head to the music.  
>As I put my hand on the gear stick, he placed his on mine and intertwined our fingers. I looked at him and he smiled at me.<br>Driving was extremely tedious for me, because the only thing I wanted to do was look at the boy sitting beside me. I think he was enjoying being able to stare at me freely.

Even though we were basically flying, the drive seemed to last forever. We didn't talk, because, well, we didn't have to.

All I wanted to do was kiss him again. Feel him. Touch him. Seeing him for real in front of me was still making my head go crazy. It was like a fantasy come true.

I pulled up in front of the hotel and got out of the car.

I gave my car keys to the concierge, Jack, who winked at me and drove off into the garage.

I led Justin through the main hall, I saw him staring at the huge chandelier and then at its reflection on the polished marble flooring. We got into an elevator, after waiting for what seemed like an eternity.

The elevator was empty it only made one stop, where a cleaning lady got into the elevator. Her eyes widened, when she saw Justin, but she turned around without saying anything.

We got out on the top floor and walked to Silver's apartment.

"Welcome to my home." I said, as I continued from the hall into the lounge.

"Impressive." Justin smiled at me.

"It's not much, compared to what you have… I guess." I looked at the ground. What else could I expect from a popstar. I started walking towards the kitchen.

"No, seriously. This is nicer than my place." He turned me around, so that I was facing him.

"Somehow I can't believe that." I stated.

"My mum wants me to be a normal kid. She doesn't want the fame to get to me. Trust me. I would kill to live in an apartment like this." I almost felt sorry for him.

"Well what's the place you live in like?" I asked curiously.

"You're just gonna have to wait and find out." He smirked.

I rolled my eyes at him and proceeded to the kitchen.

"You still hungry?" I asked.

"Oh yeah, I'm starving." - "What do you want? Pizza?" He nodded and I got a frozen pizza out of the freezer.

"We're going to eat more than one pizza. I'm starving, bro."

"Okay, fine, B-R-O." I laughed.

"Don't mock me." He poked his tongue out at me.

"While the oven is heating up, you can go to my room and pick out some clothes, if you want. It's the second room on the right." I grinned.

"Okay, thanks. I'll be right back." He disappeared into the hall.

I walked over to the lounge area and turned on the television. I put on MTV. Some award show was on. The Grammys? Not sure.

I tidied up the couch, so we could have a meal and went back into the kitchen.

I put the food in the oven. All I had to do now was wait.

I checked my phone for messages and surprisingly I had a couple of missed calls and texts. I chose to ignore all of them, because I knew they'd be about Justin, work and… let's call it the incident.

"Hey, Blythe. I'm back." He posed against the kitchen island. He was wearing a pair of red skinnies and a grey and black flannel shirt. He looked gorgeous.

"I didn't expect the clothes to fit you this well, after all I am taller than you." I mentioned, while I took the food out of the oven and served it on two plates.

"Not by much. I'm starving. This smells amazing." He smiled and took the plate, sitting down on the sofa soon after. I followed him.

"What are we watching?" He asked me, stuffing the first, huge piece of pizza in his mouth. "Ohmygawdwisisgooood…" He mumbled through the food.

"I'm glad you're enjoying it. I think were watching some award show. The Grammys?"

"The what?" Justin nearly choked on his food.

"The Grammys. Why? Did you win all the categories again?" I smirked.

"Uhh look, Blythe. I'm sorry I gotta go, people are looking for me and I'll be in huge trouble as it is."

Justin got up and stormed into the hallway pulling out his phone.

What just happened?

"Wait – Justin? Don't go, yet! Please… I – did I do something wrong?" I had run into the hall as well.

Justin turned around tears in his eyes. He almost tackled me. He buried his head in my chest and pulled himself close into me. It almost hurt. I put my arms around him. I could feel he was holding back most of his sadness. He barely made a noise.

I decided to pick him up and carry him to the sofa again. Admittedly he was very heavy, but I didn't let it show. I turned of the television and let Justin sit on top of me. He was crying quietly into my shirt. I gently rubbed his back. "Justin, please tell me what's wrong. Talking to me might actually help you." He shook his head.

We spent the next half an hour like this. I felt sorry for him. At the same time I wasn't sure what to do. I was overwhelmed. Everything had gone so well. Too well, I suppose. He didn't seem to want to move or talk to me. So I just tried my best to be there for him in the limited ways I could.

All of a sudden Justin decided to talk. "He died. Ryan died. He's dead – god hates me."

"No he doesn't, Justin." I decided not to further investigate this Ryan person. But I connected the lines. Of course I'd heard about his car accident the news.

"Yes he does, I'm a fucking fag." He started to sob his heart out.

"Justin! Justin look at me." I pushed his head away from my chest. "You know it's not like that, Justin. Yes, you're gay, but you can't blame his death on that. You can't!" Justin's eyes seemed to brighten a little.

"Gosh, why are you so perfect? Just being with you makes me feel better." Justin put his head on my chest again.

"I think you know the answer to that, Justin." His phone rang.

Justin looked at me and kissed my lips. Still staying on top of me on my lap.

"Hey, Kenny! – Yes I'm fine. – I'm at a friend's house. – Yes, that's him. – I'll explain it later. – Ok, see you in a second." He hung up and put the phone back in his pocket.

"I guess that means you have to go." I said disappointedly.

He nodded and got up, walking into the hallway again, but taking my hand and pulling me after him.

"Are you mad at me?" He asked.

"No, I'm not mad." I half lied.

"Please don't be. Sometimes I can't control myself. I know you have issues, too. I'm not some egomaniac. I just – There's been a lot going on in my life lately."

"Tell me about it. I understand you completely. I'm not mad, just sad that you get depressed like that."

"Promise me, you're not mad?" He begged.

"I promise. But please don't ever run away from me or ignore me. I'm only human, you have to talk to me, if something's wrong."

He stepped forward and pulled me into a tight hug. "You're amazing, not just amazingly sexy, but also amazingly kind." He pecked my cheek.

"You, too." I smiled.

"You have an amazing place, here. I love your room." – "It's not my place." He gave me a confused look. "This is my friend Silver's apartment. It's a very long story, if I have to explain it to you in detail." He nodded.

"Are you sure you can't stay?" Please?"

"I'd love to, but Kenny, my bodyguard, is already outside. I have to talk with my manager about what happened as well. It'll be a real shit storm. They don't like me disappearing. My mum's probably also really worried. I disappeared the other night as well. My career is kinda on pause and – oh god. There's so much to do. I can already see it coming."

"Okay, I understand. I'm sure you'll manage. You're coming to the party tomorrow night, right?" I asked him and tried to make puppy dog eyes.

"You know, that works better, if you actually have brown puppy dog eyes, like me." He smirked. "Of course I'll come. Anything to spend time with you, Blythe."

He pulled me into another tight embrace. "I really don't want to go, but I really have to go. Fuck."

I pulled our faces closely together and kissed him again. "Here's something to remember me by."

"I'll always remember you. I really don't want to let go."

A text from Justin got me out of my memories and back to the present: "I can't come. I'm sorry. Please don't be sad. I'm a jerk."


End file.
